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Edwards Seeks Senate Seat, Promises Seamless Transition from Local Irrelevance to National Irrelevance
May 9, 2025
Former Governor John Bel Edwards confirmed his U.S. Senate bid this week, vowing to deliver the same...
Migrant Disappears from Wisconsin Courthouse, Judge Suggests “Maybe He Just Needed Some Air”
April 27, 2025
A Massachusetts courthouse found itself under scrutiny after a migrant mysteriously slipped out...
Ford Now Selling F-150 Raptors to China as ‘Luxury Housing Units on Wheels’ to Skirt Tariff Rules
April 20, 2025
In response to China’s crushing 150% tariffs on U.S. vehicles, Ford has rebranded its F-150 Raptor...
Mitch Landrieu Tells GOP to ‘Wake Up’—City of New Orleans Still in Coma from His Administration
April 7, 2025
Mitch Landrieu, the former mayor best known for removing statues and accomplishing little else, told...
Activists Burning Teslas Defend Actions Citing ‘We Used Matches Made from Reclaimed Wood’
April 4, 2025
Former Tesla fans are now lighting their electric cars on fire to protest Elon Musk, claiming the...
Greenpeace to Be Inducted into Oil Hall of Fame for Unrivaled Financial Support
March 20, 2025
Greenpeace is set to be inducted into the Oil Industry Hall of Fame after a $667 million...
Secret Service No Longer Required to Carry Narcan After Hunter Biden’s Security Detail Gets the Axe
March 17, 2025
With Hunter Biden’s Secret Service detail officially cut, agents no longer have to carry Narcan...
Southern University Abandons Menstruating Men Project, Launches Critical Study on How Water Actually Makes You Thirstier
March 10, 2025
After Trump axed Southern University's $600K transgender menstrual study, the school swiftly pivoted...
Mayor Cantrell Declares D.C. a Suburb of New Orleans to Circumvent Travel Ban
March 10, 2025
Facing a travel ban, Mayor Cantrell found a loophole—simply redefining Washington, D.C. as part of...
Trump to Ukraine: ‘You Can Pay for Weapons with Trump NFTs, Very Valuable!’
March 9, 2025
In what might be the boldest financial strategy since Trump Steaks, former President Donald Trump...
Despite Losing Union Rights, TSA Assures Public That 3oz Cologne Bottles Will Still Be Treated as Explosives
March 8, 2025
Despite losing collective bargaining rights, TSA agents remain unwavering in their most sacred duty:...
Al Green Responds to Censure by Holding Up an Uno Reverse Card on House Floor
March 6, 2025
In a stunning act of defiance, Rep. Al Green held up an Uno Reverse card after his censure, leaving...
NYC Mayoral Race Heats Up: Adrienne Adams Promises to Replace ‘Chaos’ with ‘Organized Chaos’
March 6, 2025
Under Adams’ leadership, chaos in NYC won’t vanish—it’ll just be more predictable. Her new ‘Chaos...
NOAA Layoffs Change Nothing—Meteorologists Still Using ‘Partly Cloudy’ as a Safe Bet
March 4, 2025
Despite NOAA layoffs, weather forecasts remain unchanged, with meteorologists still relying on...
Blue Ghost Lands on Moon, Finds Old Movie Set from 1969 Still Intact
March 3, 2025
NASA quickly denied involvement, calling the discovery a “natural lunar formation.” Meanwhile...
Sharpton Encourages Pre-Boycott Shopping Spree, Accidentally Creates Retail Boom
February 28, 2025
Rev. Al Sharpton’s boycott plan backfired spectacularly after he urged supporters to stock up before...
Trump Kicks Zelensky Out of White House for Dressing Like an Eastern European PE Teacher
February 28, 2025
Trump abruptly ended his meeting with Zelensky, citing a serious diplomatic offense—his outfit. “He...
51 Public Figures Sign Letter Claiming Epstein Docs Appear to be Classic Russian Disinformation
February 27, 2025
51 high-profile figures are rushing to dismiss the Epstein documents as 'Russian disinformation,'...
Al Sharpton’s Boycott Plan: “Hurt Businesses by Spending Your Money the Day Before”
February 27, 2025
Activists plan to "cripple" corporations by buying everything the day before their boycott. “This...
Joy Reid Fired After MSNBC Discovers Most Viewers Were Satire News Writers
February 23, 2025
MSNBC canceled The ReidOut after discovering most of its audience consisted of satire writers mining...
Climate Activists Glue Themselves to SUVs, Accidentally Provide Free Security
February 23, 2025
SAN FRANCISCO, Ca. – group of climate activists superglued themselves to SUVs this weekend to...
Gavin Newsom Declares California a ‘Climate-Free Zone’ to Combat Global Warming
February 23, 2025
Governor Gavin Newsom has declared California a “climate-free zone” in a bold effort to eliminate...
Karen Bass Launches Investigation to Determine How She Became Mayor of Los Angeles
February 22, 2025
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, fresh off investigating how she ended up in Ghana during an emergency...
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