WASHINGTON, DC – In a bold diplomatic maneuver, former President Donald Trump announced that Ukraine could bypass traditional military aid by purchasing much-needed weapons with Trump-branded NFTs.
“These NFTs are tremendous, the best. Some say better than missiles,” Trump stated at a rally. “Zelenskyy doesn’t need billions in aid—he just needs to invest in Trump collectibles. Very limited supply. Once they’re gone, they’re gone!”
The Trump campaign claims the NFTs, featuring golden-hued portraits of Trump in superhero poses, will appreciate in value “much faster than military-grade weaponry.” Skeptics point out that Ukraine may struggle to convince arms dealers that a pixelated image of Trump flexing in a tank top is equivalent to an anti-aircraft system.
When asked for comment, President Zelenskyy said, “We appreciate the offer, but we prefer things that actually exist.” Meanwhile, Putin was reportedly seen laughing and adding NFTs to his own collectio
