NEW YORK, NY – As New York City’s mayoral race intensifies, candidate Adrienne Adams has vowed to replace the city’s current state of chaos with a more structured, efficient form of disorder—what she calls “Organized Chaos.”
“Our streets will still be crowded, the subways will still be a mess, and crime will remain unpredictable, but under my leadership, it will all be on a carefully curated schedule,” Adams assured voters.
She proposed a “Chaos Calendar” app that would notify residents of precisely when their train will break down, when rats will overtake a park, and which neighborhoods are experiencing “curated mayhem” that week.
Critics argue it’s just rebranding dysfunction, but Adams insists this is a breakthrough in urban planning. “For too long, chaos has been random. I say, let’s regulate it!”
New Yorkers, exhausted but intrigued, have already downloaded the beta version.
