SACRAMENTO, Ca. – In a groundbreaking executive order, California Governor Gavin Newsom has declared the state a “climate-free zone” in an effort to combat global warming.

“California has always been a leader in progressive policies,” Newsom said at a press conference, “so it only makes sense that we take the bold step of banning weather altogether.”

Under the new plan, all references to “hot,” “cold,” or “rain” will be removed from state meteorological reports, and any unauthorized discussion of climate fluctuations will be considered “misinformation.” Scientists attempting to study California’s weather patterns will be required to obtain a permit proving they are “emotionally prepared to handle extreme data.”

Critics argue that eliminating the climate may have unintended consequences, but Newsom dismissed concerns. “It’s simple—no climate, no climate change,” he explained, before boarding a private jet to his next sustainability summit.

Meanwhile, residents are advised to “just pretend it’s always 72 and sunny.”