Senator Royce Duplessis has declared Louisiana “in crisis” after Governor Landry sent 135 Guardsmen to D.C. leaving only 98.5% of the Guard at home. Critics say Duplessis may be the first politician in history to treat basic math as a
East Baton Rouge’s criminal community has declared a boycott of local crime, refusing to risk Parish Prison until conditions improve. Offenders say they’ll relocate their “work” to neighboring parishes, sparking concern from 19th JDC judges who suddenly find themselves short
Governor Jeff Landry slammed LSU’s “degenerate” twerk performance, though insiders say he accidentally streamed the routine 47 times. Staff claim he called each replay “necessary research,” leaving critics to wonder if his moral outrage had less to do with decency
Louisiana residents may soon pay $4.99 every time they accept or send a Facebook friend request. Entergy announced the new fee as part of its deal to power Meta’s data center, describing the charge as vital to “emotional bandwidth recovery”
New Orleans has officially awarded its garbage contract to the Orleans Parish Clerk of Court’s office, citing its “proven track record” of dumping sensitive court files into landfills. Officials praised the office for “efficiency unmatched by any contractor,” calling the
Walmart officials moved quickly this week to reassure shoppers after a nationwide recall of shrimp that reportedly contained “trace levels” of radioactivity. “The product is still completely safe,” one company spokesperson insisted, “so long as customers consume it under a
Shreveport officials hailed rapper 50 Cent’s investment in the city’s new G-Dome, but financial experts warn it could drain his fortune. “After this, he’ll be better known as Store Credit,” one analyst quipped, pointing to the city’s long tradition of
Governor Jeff Landry deployed the Louisiana National Guard to Washington, D.C., leaving New Orleans residents wondering why the “murder capital of America” didn’t get the help first. Locals joked the Guard might only show up in the city if they
Baton Rouge schools have found a new fix for chronic absences: just rename them. Truancy will now be known as “nontraditional attendance,” a phrase officials say reflects “creative learning pathways.”
Former LSU coach Ed Orgeron has turned his job search into a joint venture with his ex-wife, who recently won $8 million from his buyout. She’s now negotiating directly with Mississippi State, demanding signing bonuses and custody of season tickets.
Saints fans who booed the addition of more men to the cheer squad may want to rethink. At least those guys can hold a formation, unlike the offensive line, which looked like it was practicing modern dance instead of football
Officer Jeffrey Vappie’s defense team is weighing an insanity plea, arguing no rational man would risk his career and freedom for taxpayer-funded vacations with Mayor Cantrell. Prosecutors, however, remain skeptical, saying poor taste isn’t a recognized legal defense, at least
