LSU hires Ed Orgeron as Head of Tailgate Security, complete with a campus apartment near Sorority Row and full control over gameday cooler logistics.
LSU officials say the new “realistic” game-day playlist, complete with sirens and gunfire, will help fans stop panicking when they hear the real thing near the North Gates.
Locals say they don’t need another Siegen Lane, they just want one place to eat without having to look over their shoulder.
Auditors found $2.7 million in unpaid ethics fines, but the Louisiana Ethics Board says it’s choosing a “gentler approach” hoping offenders “just feel bad eventually.”
The East Baton Rouge Metro Council voted to double the city’s boot-removal cap after booting companies warned that “exploiting stranded motorists simply isn’t what it used to be.”
Mayor Cantrell’s airline miles are being liquidated to help pay taxes on the struggling Shell Tower. The city says it’s “financial creativity,” but locals say it’s just another layover on New Orleans’ nonstop flight to bankruptcy.
Police say burglars broke into Cam Jordan’s home and mysteriously left behind VHS tapes labeled Broncos Defense, an act investigators are calling both “bizarre” and “probably helpful.”
Walker High’s latest graduation policy requires seniors to buy $55 “Principal Handshake Tokens”, a new twist after the school already forced families to purchase brand-new caps and gowns this year.
The Louisiana Department of Revenue will no longer accept cash for taxes, but state officials confirm they’re still very much a cash-only operation.
Governor Jeff Landry announced that National Guard troops entering New Orleans will now deploy disguised as local carjackers and murderers to gain the trust of city officials, who had previously opposed their presence for being “too law-enforcement adjacent.”
The Flood Authority’s new SWAT-style unit will reportedly be trained in “tactical sandbagging” and “high-pressure hose control,” though officials admit they’re still “not sure who the enemy is.”
Baton Rouge residents camped outside Anthony’s Italian Deli after mistaking the federal government shutdown for a shutdown of Government Street. Locals feared losing access to muffulettas, prompting overnight lines, sleeping bags, and panic worthy of Black Friday.
Helena Moreno has sidestepped Mitch Landrieu’s unlucky endorsement streak, distancing herself from what some call the “kiss of death.”
New Orleans’ bond rating has sunk so low that city officials now plan to repair drainage pumps on a layaway system, fixing them in pieces as minimum payments clear.
Rep. Cleo Fields defended his Oracle stock purchase by insisting he thought it was a seafood restaurant. After Googling the name during a committee break, Fields said he was “just trying to support local dining,” confusing oysters with cloud storage
Baton Rouge’s latest “upgrade” funnels thousands of interstate cars into a two-lane dead end at Highland and Pecue. Residents rejected a traffic circle, ensuring the new light will soon join Government Street construction as a permanent case study in dysfunction.
Seven LSU students were detained during a small anti-MAGA protest Wednesday, but the loudest complaints came from parents who had to leave bingo night early to pick them up.
The DOTD has announced free Wi-Fi for the Mississippi River Bridge, admitting traffic won’t improve but commuters will at least be able to binge their favorite shows while waiting.
Denham Springs council members have escalated their war on premature holiday spirit by asking the National Guard to dismantle Christmas lights before November. Officials say local code enforcement couldn’t keep up with early decorators, leaving soldiers to cut down rogue
Governor Jeff Landry has ordered the National Guard to raid LSU’s football facility and seize Joe Sloan’s offensive playbook. The governor called it a danger to public morale, vowing the pages will be destroyed before fans suffer through another predictable
Governor Jeff Landry announced plans to deploy 1,000 National Guard troops in Baton Rouge, not for crime or disaster relief, but to seize every Nissan Altima with Texas plates. Officials say the crackdown could soon expand to Dodge Chargers and
