Joy Reid Fired After MSNBC Discovers Most Viewers Were Satire News Writers
MSNBC canceled The ReidOut after discovering most of its audience consisted of satire writers mining Joy Reid’s monologues for content. Executives tried saving the show by asking her to be less absurd, but when she accidentally said something accurate on air, they had no choice but to pull the plug
Krewe of Brave Cave Set to Roll in Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade
Baton Rouge’s Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade will feature The Krewe of Brave Cave, a satirical float modeled after the city’s now-defunct interrogation facility. Complete with fake arrest warrants, broken body cameras, and evidence bags with holes, it’s even built entirely from missing police reports that were never filed. Parade rolls March 9!
Climate Activists Glue Themselves to SUVs, Accidentally Provide Free Security
SAN FRANCISCO, Ca. – group of climate activists superglued themselves to SUVs this weekend to protest fossil fuel consumption, only to inadvertently create the most effective anti-theft system ever. “I haven’t felt this secure in years,” said F-250 owner Mike Henderson. “Usually, I worry about carjackers—now I’ve got a human alarm system.” The protest quickly […]
Gavin Newsom Declares California a ‘Climate-Free Zone’ to Combat Global Warming
Governor Gavin Newsom has declared California a “climate-free zone” in a bold effort to eliminate global warming. “No climate, no climate change,” Newsom explained while banning state agencies from acknowledging heat waves, wildfires, or droughts. Meteorologists must now describe all weather as “mild and sustainable.” Critics raised concerns, but Newsom dismissed them before boarding a private jet to a climate summit.
Mayor Cantrell Seeks Solace in Maldives After Sunday Parade Cancellations, Citing ‘Emotional Distress’
As New Orleans’ Mardi Gras parades were canceled, Mayor Cantrell jetted to the Maldives, citing “emotional distress.” “I gotta keep my mental right,” she explained, while sippin’ on gin & juice.