Jeff Landry Forms the Imported Crustacean Enforcement (ICE) Agency to Begin Deporting Foreign Shrimp
Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry has declared war on illegal Chinese shrimp, launching the Imported Crustacean Enforcement (ICE) to raid restaurants suspected of serving non-local seafood. “This is an attack on our heritage,” he warned.
Governor Mandates Live Beavers at Every Louisiana Buc-ee’s, Citing Lifelong Love for Them
Governor Jeff Landry has mandated a live beaver at every Buc-ee’s in Louisiana, citing his deep, lifelong passion for beavers—one that started in college and only grew stronger.
Governor Landry Accidentally Catches Beads at Spanish Town Parade, Declares It ‘An Attempted Bribery’
Governor Jeff Landry caught beads at the Spanish Town Parade—then declared it a bribery attempt by The Sadvocate. He’s now pushing to ban “unapproved bead distribution” at public events.
Baton Rouge’s New Crime-Free Neighborhood Turns Out to Just Be in Prairieville
Excitement spread through the city this week as real estate developers announced a brand-new, crime-free neighborhood, a first for Baton Rouge. The development, dubbed “Serenity Oaks,” boasts zero break-ins, no carjackings, and not a single murder since its construction.
Landry to Require Buc-ee’s in Lafayette to Play Trump Speeches at Gas Pumps
Louisiana’s newest Buc-ee’s won’t just offer oversized snacks and clean restrooms—it’ll now serve up 24/7 Trump speeches, thanks to Gov. Jeff Landry. Customers filling up on gas will hear classics like “We’re winning so much, you’ll get tired of winning.”
Disney Announces Louisiana Themed Attraction in Orlando
Disney has announced the opening of a new Louisiana-themed Attraction at it’s Orlando theme park
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order Banning James Carville from Wearing LSU Gear on TV
Governor Jeff Landry has issued an executive order banning James Carville from wearing LSU gear on TV until he “stops acting insane.” Officials say Carville must prove he can do one interview without a meltdown before the ban is lifted.
Mayor Cantrell Seeks Solace in Maldives After Sunday Parade Cancellations, Citing ‘Emotional Distress’
As New Orleans’ Mardi Gras parades were canceled, Mayor Cantrell jetted to the Maldives, citing “emotional distress.” “I gotta keep my mental right,” she explained, while sippin’ on gin & juice.
Governor Landry Orders All State Buildings to Fly ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ Flags
Governor Jeff Landry has ordered all Louisiana government buildings to replace the state flag with the Gadsden flag, better known as the “Don’t Tread on Me” banner, calling it a “tribute to real American values.”
Mitch Landrieu’s Career Reduced to Rubble—So He Got a Job Moving It
Mitch Landrieu’s career has officially come full circle—after years of tearing things down, he’s now literally hauling away debris for a paycheck. Following his disastrous stint as co-chair of Kamala Harris’ failed campaign, Landrieu has embraced his one true skill: wrecking things, this time with a crane
DOGE LA to be Lead by Todd Graves; Vows to Reduce Spending and Restore Chicken Finger Size
Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry has tapped Raising Cane’s founder Todd Graves as the state’s first-ever Director of Government Efficiency (DOGE-LA).
LADOTD to Celebrate 30th Anniversary of Bridge Studies with Festival
The Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) is planning a massive festival to recognize the upcoming 30th anniversary of their ongoing Mississippi River Bridge study project, which will soon reach a staggering $150 million in expenses.
Death Row Inmates in Louisiana Now Have Two Choices: Lethal Injection or the DMV
Louisiana has announced a new execution method, giving inmates two grim options: lethal injection or attempting to renew their driver’s license at the Department of Motor Vehicles on Independence Blvd until they finally die waiting in line.
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order on Public Service Commissioner’s Social Media Use
BATON ROUGE, La – In a groundbreaking effort to uphold the integrity of Louisiana politics, Governor Jeff Landry has issued Executive Order No. 2025-WTF-013, officially permitting Public Service Commissioner Davante Lewis to continue posting insults about the governor online—but with one strict condition. “Mr. Lewis is free to post whatever he likes about me,” Landry […]
State Rep. Larry Selders Pledges to Legalize Burnouts, DWI and Driving Under Suspension if Reelected
BATON ROUGE, La – Representative Selders was arrested in August 2022 for reckless driving, DWI, and driving under suspension. Now, he’s running on a platform to protect young men’s right to do burnouts, drive with a suspended license, and enjoy “alcohol-assisted precision driving” without government interference. Selders says Louisiana’s traffic laws unfairly target car enthusiasts. […]