BATON ROUGE, La – Former Louisiana OMV Commissioner Dan Casey resigned from his post Tuesday but remains trapped in bureaucratic purgatory, spending the last three days waiting in line at the DMV to receive his final paycheck.
Casey, now surviving exclusively on complimentary peppermints and tap water, has expressed regret over not filing for direct deposit. “I had no idea it was this bad,” he remarked, looking defeated. “I always assumed people complaining about our service were exaggerating.”
The resignation, met with joyous parades across the state, also triggered the traditional annual OMV network crash and anticipated seasonal data breaches. Meanwhile, a DMV representative responded to Casey’s situation, helpfully noting, “Sir, your wait time is approximately four more days—assuming none of our employees happen to take their 6 hour break at the exact time your number comes up.”
By Friday afternoon, Casey had embraced his fate and decided to just apply for a new job at the DMV since he was already living there anyway.
