Escapee’s Mom Arrested After Sending “Y’all Be Safe” Text to Entire Escapee Group Chat
Orleans Parish officials have arrested a mother for sending a supportive “Y’all be safe” text to a group chat tied to a jail escape. Authorities say it amounts to aiding and abetting—because in Louisiana, even moral support can land you a seat in the back of a squad car.
New Roads PD Clarifies ‘Guns for Cash’ Program Wasn’t Meant for Department-Issued Weapons
A fired officer claims he thought the city’s “Guns for Cash” program applied to everyone—especially those with easy access to the inventory. City Hall has since clarified: it does not.
New Orleans Judge Named Honorary VP of Sales at Ankle Monitor Company
In a seamless blend of justice and salesmanship, a New Orleans judge has been named honorary VP at the ankle monitor company he keeps “accidentally” recommending to defendants. Conflict of interest? Only if you’re poor.
Inmates Break Back Into Orleans Parish Jail, Say Streets of New Orleans “Way Too Dangerous”
After escaping from the parish lock up, a group of inmates stunned officials by breaking back into Jail—claiming the streets of New Orleans were “way too dangerous.”
New Orleans DA Suggests Letting Escapees Finish Sentences via Zoom to Free Up Police Resources
Orleans DA Jason Williams is now offering escaped inmates the option to finish their sentences via Zoom—eliminating the need for costly manhunts while maintaining “virtual accountability.” Weekly check-ins and slideshow consequences included. Attendance optional, rehabilitation assumed.
State Rep Kyle Green Jr. Wins ‘Worst Take Your Kids to Work Day’ Performance by a Landslide
State Rep. Kyle Green Jr. turned Take Your Kids to Work Day into a crash course—literally—landing himself in jail after a DWI arrest with his children in the car.
Livingston Parish Sheriff Transfers Deputy’s Boating DWI Arrest to Nonexistent Sea Division
When a Livingston Parish deputy was arrested for boating under the influence, the Sheriff’s Office quietly assigned the case to its “Sea Division.” The only problem? It doesn’t exist.
LSU Board Unanimously Selects Dr. Geoffry Landreau as New President
LSU’s newly appointed president, Dr. Geoffry Landreau, has announced a bold new vision: energy firm partnerships, a Buc-ee’s on campus, and a Trump statue—because nothing says higher education like brisket, branding, and oil diplomacy.
New Orleans District Attorney Accidentally Hires One of the Escaped Inmates as Assistant DA
In a development somehow both shocking and on-brand, the New Orleans DA’s office admitted it mistakenly hired one of the escaped inmates as a new Assistant District Attorney
Brusly Asks Why Addis Gets All the Fame: “We Had a Guy on Wheel of Fortune in ’03”
After one American Idol finalist put Addis on the map, neighboring Brusly is demanding recognition of its own — armed with bumper stickers, chili cook-off memories, and a guy who plays spoons when tipsy.
Parents Support Later School Start Times—Now Have 30 Extra Minutes to Argue Over Lunches
EBR schools are planning to start later next year—and not just because kids are tired, but because everyone’s tired of pretending they aren’t.
Orleans Sheriff Announces Escapees Can Now Serve Time Remotely via Zoom
Orleans Parish officials now say escaped inmates can serve time remotely—as long as they turn themselves in and keep their Zoom cameras on.
New Orleans Jail Considers Just Letting Everyone Out and Starting Over
Jail officials say they’re overwhelmed and “might just hit reset” after losing track of who’s supposed to be incarcerated.
TikTok Brits Ask for Best Louisiana Food, Confused When Locals Drop Them Off at Gas Station
BATON ROUGE, LA – British TikTokers Josh & Jase, currently on a quest to “taste the soul of the South,” were left utterly baffled Tuesday when they asked Baton Rouge locals for the best place to eat—and were casually dropped off at a gas station off Airline Highway. “We assumed they misunderstood the question,” said […]
19th JDC Replaces Metal Detectors With Scales, Announces Undercard Dockets on Mondays
After a courtroom brawl and back-to-back judge scandals, Baton Rouge’s 19th JDC courthouse is embracing chaos—by installing scales at the front door and announcing Monday undercards.
DA Partners with Ticketmaster to Sell Ringside Seating at Baton Rouge Courtroom Fights
The East Baton Rouge DA’s Office announced a new revenue stream this week: ticket sales to future courthouse fights. After a surprise melee broke out in a courtroom, officials saw an opportunity too lucrative to ignore.
Health Officials: Needles Handed Out on Siegen Lane Totally Unrelated to Used Needles Found All Over Siegen Lane
City officials are warning residents not to assume that the thousands of discarded syringes scattered across Siegen Lane have anything to do with the clinic on Siegen Lane that gives out thousands of syringes.
New Ankle Monitor Company for BR Courts Promises to at least Pretend to Monitor Defendants
Baton Rouge courts have hired a new ankle monitor provider with a refreshingly honest motto: “We’ll at least act like we’re trying.”
After 13,000 Absences, EBR School Board Declares Victory Over Overcrowding
Baton Rouge schools celebrate empty desks as a win against overcrowding—13,000 absent students means more “room to grow.”
Edwards Seeks Senate Seat, Promises Seamless Transition from Local Irrelevance to National Irrelevance
Former Governor John Bel Edwards confirmed his U.S. Senate bid this week, vowing to deliver the same level of quiet, forgettable leadership that marked his time in Louisiana politics.
93% Acquittal Rate of Violent Offenders Leaves Judge “Haunted” by the 7% She Let the System Ruin
Local judge promises reforms after only 93% of violent offenders walked free: “I owe the other 7% an apology and maybe a fruit basket.”
DA Launches ‘Text-a-Judge’ Program to Pre-Dismiss Cases Before Wasting Time on Investigations
The East Baton Rouge DA’s Office is piloting a new system that lets prosecutors text mugshots and case summaries directly to judges for instant dismissal decisions. Critics say it bypasses due process, but officials call it “a more efficient path to disappointment.”
State Celebrates 50 Years of Monitoring Capitol Lake Toxicity by Adding a New Sign
After decades of toxic buildup and government foot-dragging, Louisiana finally acknowledged Capitol Lakes with something tangible: a new sign that warns residents the water is dangerous—just in a more “official” font.
LSU Grad With Master’s in Finance Shocked to Learn Student Loans Must Be Repaid
An LSU graduate with a master’s in finance says he was emotionally unprepared for loan repayment. Experts agree—it’s one of the worst cases of academic irony since a chemistry major claimed not to “believe in molecules.”
REAL ID Deadline Extended After Officials Discover Baton Rouge OMV Still Processing 2019 Walk-Ins
In an effort to help Louisianans still stuck in the OMV system, the REAL ID deadline has been extended—especially for those who walked in during 2019 and never left.
Louisiana Voters Encouraged To Support Tax Renewals So Parish Can Upgrade To Newer Excuses
Officials claim tax renewals are needed to “modernize messaging,” allowing parishes to replace outdated excuses with cutting-edge budgetary jargon. Voters, however, appear unconvinced that they should fund better ways to be told “we can’t fix that.”
Governor Landry Thanks Giacometto for Turning DEQ into a Case Study on Employee Turnover
In a uniquely optimistic spin, Governor Landry praised Giacometto’s legacy of mass resignations at DEQ, calling it “streamlined workforce development” and noting she left behind “a more breathable office and several thousand unread emails.”
New Reality Series ‘So You Think You Can Judge?’ Pilots in Baton Rouge
Baton Rouge’s 19th Judicial District Court is now the surprise setting of So You Think You Can Judge?, a new reality show where judges compete to keep their robes while dodging ethical complaints. So far: one fake law, one fake Army rank, and a very real insurance scam.
May Day Protest At State Capitol Hijacked by Group Demanding Bigger Chicken Strips at Cane’s
The protest started with chants against authoritarianism and ended with handmade signs demanding full-sized chicken fingers. While some came to challenge Trump-era policies, most left questioning how Cane’s manages to charge $11 for what one marcher called “two and a half glorified chicken crayons.”
LSU Student Designs AI to Prevent Wrecks—It Just Keeps Recommending ‘Move Out of Baton Rouge’
While some hoped LSU’s AI would revolutionize traffic safety, it instead took one look at Florida Boulevard and immediately scheduled its own out-of-state transfer. LADOTD remains optimistic, calling the results “unexpectedly accurate.”