Tennessee Emergency Management Urges Football Fans Not To Panic Buy Mustard And Golf Balls Ahead Of LSU Game
Officials assured residents there is plenty of mustard and plenty of golf balls for everyone, provided fans remember what they were originally designed to do.
Louisiana Auto Insurance Companies Now Offering 72-Month Financing On 6-Month Policies
Louisiana auto insurance companies are now offering 72-month financing on standard 6-month policies, allowing drivers to make payments long after the coverage expires.
The Sadvocate Podcast – Guest Appearances
The Sadvocate Podcast
New Siegen Lane Design Will Feature State-Of-The-Art Places To Sit Through Three Light Cycles
Local commuters welcomed the investment, saying they’ll finally have something nice to admire while inching forward three car lengths every six minutes.
Explosive Diarrhea Prompts Taco Bell Customers To Wonder Whether They Should Seek Medical Care Or Leave Five-Star Review
When Taco Bell customers started experiencing explosive diarrhea, many admitted the toughest decision wasn’t calling a doctor, it was figuring out whether the meal still deserved five stars.
New Orleans Officials Begin Printing Then Shredding Emails Ahead Of Expected Murrill Subpoenas
Somewhere inside City Hall, a printer is working harder than anyone else in the building.
Boosie Offered 10% Off His Next Presidential Pardon After Delivery Mishap
Customer service reportedly couldn’t deliver the presidential pardon, but they were more than happy to offer Boosie 10% off the next one.
Meta Data Center Officially Becomes Largest Building In Louisiana Dedicated To Reading Your Comment Section
Meta’s new Louisiana data center will reportedly spend most of its computing power trying to keep up with the state’s Facebook comment sections.
Louisiana Man Refuses To Trust His GPS Until It Has Driven These Roads For At Least Ten Years
Louisiana drivers say no GPS can truly understand the state’s roads until it’s spent at least a decade getting lost alongside everyone else.
Landry Recall Event Declares Record Turnout After UPS Driver Stops To Ask For Directions
A Slidell recall event reportedly experienced its biggest surge of the day after a UPS driver stopped to ask for directions, prompting organizers to briefly believe reinforcements had arrived.
Baton Rouge Driver Misses Entire Green Light Looking At Waze To See Why Traffic Isn’t Moving
Experts say Baton Rouge traffic has become so unpredictable that residents now assume every delay is someone else’s fault.
Louisiana Officials Report Running Dangerously Low On The Phrase ‘Unprecedented’
Louisiana officials say the state’s emergency supply of the word “unprecedented” is running dangerously low after another year of nonstop political drama.
Group Behind Landry Recall Quietly Adds “Don’t Shoot at Random People in Cars” To Volunteer Code Of Conduct
Every organization has that one incident that forces them to rewrite the employee handbook. Apparently, political recall campaigns are no exception.
Amazon’s First Baton Rouge Delivery Drone Immediately Gets Stuck In I-10 Traffic
Even flying 300 feet above the interstate apparently isn’t enough to escape Baton Rouge rush hour.
Ascension Parish Developer Promises Every New Home Will Come With Complimentary Sandbags
Ascension residents were reassured this week after developers announced every new home in the proposed Harvest Fields subdivision will include complimentary sandbags as a premium neighborhood amenity.
Baton Rouge Residents Demand Investigation Into Whether St. George Really Needed A New Coffee Maker
Critics immediately questioned whether the previous coffee maker had truly reached the end of its useful life, while others demanded to know why government employees needed fresh coffee in the first place.
Police Ask Criminals To Wait For Breaks In The Fireworks Before Opening Fire On Each Other Tonight
Residents say the annual “fireworks or gunshots?” debate has become as much a Fourth of July tradition as hot dogs and sparklers.
Landry Signs Executive Order Requiring Every New Orleans Official To Watch Schoolhouse Rock Before Taking Office
The Governor says a mandatory Schoolhouse Rock refresher should help New Orleans leaders better distinguish between political disagreements and actual constitutional authority.
NOLA Official Seeks Indictment Against State Trooper After Being Warned Speeding Could Result In A Ticket
A New Orleans official has reportedly found the next great threat to democracy: a state trooper who warned that speeding could result in a ticket.
NOLA Officials Ask State To “Spot Them A Few More Million” So They Can Go After Attorney General
Fresh off borrowing $125 million from the state, New Orleans officials reportedly admitted they just need a little more Louisiana money before they can continue going after Attorney General Liz Murrill.
Officials Confirm LSU Lakes Construction Site Now Eligible For Historical Landmark Status
After years of dredging, detours, and progress updates, officials say the LSU Lakes construction site has officially been around long enough to qualify for historical landmark status.
Recall Organizers Confident Goal Would Be Reached If Signature Requirement Were Eliminated
Campaign leaders described the signature thresholds as “the primary obstacle” preventing the recalls from moving forward, adding that nearly every other aspect of the efforts has gone according to plan.
Louisiana Governor Unveils Pathway To Cajun Citizenship For Children Born North Of I-10
Under Governor Jeff Landry’s proposal, children born in North Louisiana would receive temporary “Provisional Cajun” status while completing years of cultural requirements.
DOTD Cancels New AI for I-12 Traffic After it Recklessly Suggests Exits At 4-H Club Road And Pete’s Highway
DOTD’s new AI was designed to detect traffic jams, not question decades of transportation planning. Officials say it crossed the line the moment it started offering solutions.
State Opens Recovery Program For Voters Traumatized By Endless Senate Campaign Ads
Therapists report a surge in patients suffering from campaign ad fatigue after months of nonstop political commercials.
James Carville Furious Louisiana Senate Election Temporarily Distracts Him From Complaining About Trump
Witnesses say Carville repeatedly tried steering every conversation back to Trump, somehow connecting him to voter turnout, campaign signs, polling locations, and even the humidity.
East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office Replaces Entire Central Substation Staff With Pastor Tony Spell
According to officials, 911 operators will first attempt to de-escalate disturbances by simply texting everyone involved a photo of Pastor Tony Spell.
Central Church Pastor Enters UFC Transfer Portal Following Breakout Performance
After a surprise breakout performance thrust him into the spotlight, Central pastor Tony Spell announced he has officially entered the UFC Transfer Portal to explore opportunities at the next level.
Louisiana Residents Relieved Hurricane Forecast Only Predicts “Catastrophic” Season Instead Of “Apocalyptic”
Louisiana residents breathed a sigh of relief this week after experts downgraded this year’s hurricane outlook from “apocalyptic” to merely “catastrophic.”
Central Pastor’s Seminar On Conflict Resolution Postponed Due To Scheduling Issues
A Central pastor’s planned seminar on conflict resolution has reportedly been postponed due to what church officials are calling an unfortunate scheduling conflict.