BATON ROUGE, LA – After years of customer feedback requesting more reliable internet service, Cox Communications announced Thursday that it has instead developed a new premium outage package that provides customers with personalized estimated restoration times.
According to company officials, the new service will allow customers to receive outage estimates tailored specifically to their account rather than the generic estimates currently provided to the public.
“For too long, everyone has been receiving the same incorrect restoration time,” said a company spokesperson. “We believe customers deserve an outage experience customized to their individual needs.”
Under the new premium tier, customers can choose from several outage notification options, including “Optimistic Estimate,” “Extremely Optimistic Estimate,” and “We’ll Check Again Tomorrow.”
Subscribers will also receive enhanced outage tracking features showing their position in line, estimated technician enthusiasm levels, and a live outage map displaying hundreds of nearby customers asking if anyone else’s internet is down.
Local residents expressed mixed reactions to the announcement.
“So the internet still won’t work?” asked one Baton Rouge customer.
“Correct,” replied Cox. “But you’ll have a much more personalized understanding of why.”
The company is reportedly already developing an even higher-tier package that includes handwritten apology letters and a commemorative certificate recognizing customers who experience more than 50 outages in a calendar year.
