EBR Schools Consider Sonic Partnership, Citing Company’s “Longstanding Experience With Fights”
After another school fight, EBR officials think outside the classroom, eyeing an unlikely partner whose parking lots have quietly hosted Louisiana’s conflict resolution for decades.
After Surf Lake Backlash, Central Mayor Announces Even Bigger $400 Million Casino Resort Project
Critics laughed at Central’s surf lake plan. The mayor responded by casually announcing a $400 million casino instead. Problem solved.
East Baton Rouge Metro Council Accused of Violating State Constitution, Requests Copy to See What’s In It
A lawsuit alleges the Metro Council violated the state constitution, prompting members to request a copy to review what’s actually in it.
Donaldsonville Council Will Now Allow Cameras at Meetings, Requires All Footage Be Edited by Mayor’s Cousin Before Release
Donaldsonville leaders have unveiled a new approach to transparency that requires all meeting footage to be edited by the mayor’s cousin before the public ever sees it.
After Baton Rouge and New Orleans Tour, ICE Agents Request Transfer to “Something Calmer,” Like Gaza
ICE agents say Gaza “seems peaceful” after spending several days in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, citing South Louisiana’s unique blend of traffic, politics, and Dodge Chargers driving recklessly.
ICE Overwhelmed by Self-Deportation Requests From Immigrants Who Have Been Stuck in College Drive Traffic Since 2023
ICE agents were stunned to find motorists who hadn’t moved since 2023, many now choosing deportation over one more minute of College Drive.
Brian Kelly Offers to Coach ‘One Last Game’ After Reading About the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite
Brian Kelly has decided he’s not quite done at LSU, and it definitely has nothing to do with the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite.
Cleo Fields Hit With Louisiana Ethics Fine, Adding to the Board’s Longstanding Tradition of Collecting Absolutely Nothing
Louisiana’s Ethics Board has fined Congressman Cleo Fields again, adding another unpaid penalty to a $2.7 million backlog the state has shown no measurable interest in ever collecting.
NOLA Residents Rally Against ICE, Fear Safer Streets Could Lead to Higher Rent and Fewer Viral Carjacking Videos
Protestors in New Orleans came out in the rain this week, not to oppose crime, but to defend it from ICE. Locals say safer streets could ruin the city’s “authentic experience.”
Lane Kiffin Forced to Skip ESPN College GameDay in Atlanta After Getting Stuck in I-10 Traffic
Lane Kiffin’s first major setback at LSU came from the existential nightmare of I-10 traffic, which trapped him so completely he missed his scheduled GameDay appearance in Atlanta.
Locals Demanding Answers After Taxes Rise in Baton Rouge, Insist This Was Supposed to Be a St. George Problem
Baton Rouge homeowners were shocked to discover their tax bills had increased, insisting this kind of problem was contractually guaranteed to happen only in St. George.
New Orleans Residents Oppose ICE, Worried That Accountability Could Spread to Other Parts of Government
Protesters promised to return as long as law enforcement continues threatening the city’s long-standing tradition of low expectations.
In Lieu of Raises, City-Parish Authorizes BRPD to Deliver for DoorDash and UberEats in Patrol Vehicles
City leaders insist the SIDE HUSTLE UNIT will “boost retention,” but officers argue that when a department relies on gig-app deliveries to keep paychecks afloat, retention might not be the core issue anymore.
Zachary School Board Solves Dress Code Crisis No One Knew Existed, Declares Victory Over Skirts
Zachary officials say banning skirts in 5th and 6th grade will “restore order,” though no one can point to a single skirt incident that caused disorder.
Ole Miss Fans Form Task Force to Investigate Why Their Feelings Didn’t Override a $4 Million Raise for Kiffin
Ole Miss fans have formed TEARS, a taskforce investigating how their hurt feelings failed to outweigh a multimillion-dollar raise, despite overwhelming evidence that $4 million tends to win negotiations.
Lane Kiffin Says He Chose LSU For Tradition, Passion, And “The Unmatched Quality Of Baton Rouge Gas Station Food”
Lane Kiffin’s first LSU press appearance took an unexpected turn when he praised Baton Rouge’s gas-station cuisine as a deciding factor in his move. Fans shrugged, noting that understanding hot-bar culture is practically a requirement for the job.
Kiffin Saga Forces Louisiana Men To Admit They Haven’t Heard a Word Their Wives Said For Two Solid Weeks
Experts say the statewide “Kiffin trance” wiped out all male listening skills for nearly two weeks, leaving wives talking to human statues who only responded to coaching-news keywords.
Todd Graves and Gordon McKernan Race to File for Sole Custody of Lane Kiffin in Baton Rouge City Court
Lane Kiffin hasn’t even landed in Louisiana, but that didn’t stop two of Baton Rouge’s biggest personalities from sprinting to City Court to claim exclusive custody rights before the ink on his contract even dries.
LSU Realizes Refusing to Pay Contract Buyout While Actively Searching for a New Coach May Have Sent Wrong Message
LSU officials admitted that refusing to pay Brian Kelly’s buyout was sending the wrong message while they were actively trying to hire someone new.
Louisiana Housing Corporation Official Resigns, Board Proud To Announce Absolutely Nothing Will Change
The Louisiana Housing Corporation confirmed a top official’s resignation and immediately reassured the public that absolutely nothing will change.
Zach Bryan Agrees to Play at LSU, Demands All Concession Stands Serve Drinks With No Ice
Zach Bryan’s LSU concert will now serve room-temperature drinks after the singer demanded all concessions remove ice to “avoid mixed signals.”
CATS CFO Quits Amid Pressure To Explain Why a $30 Million Budget Only Produces Two Working Buses
The former CATS CFO resigned after being asked to justify how a thirty million dollar budget results in fewer operational buses than most school field trips.
Jeff Landry and LSU AD Plan to Camp Outside Jimmy Sexton’s Office Hoping to Snag a Black Friday Doorbuster Deal on Kiffin
Governor Jeff Landry and LSU’s AD will camp outside Jimmy Sexton’s office later this week, hoping to snag Lane Kiffin at a Black Friday doorbuster rate.
Mayor-Elect Says No One Told Her Who the Blue-Uniformed People Are, Despite News Confirming They’re the NOPD
The mayor-elect says she has “zero official information” on officers in blue uniforms, despite every news outlet confirming they’re the police.
Lane Kiffin Considers Committing to LSU Before Thanksgiving To Avoid Having to Tell Anyone He Coached In The Egg Bowl
Lane Kiffin is rumored to be eyeing LSU, and insiders say it has less to do with football and more to do with avoiding the public shame of coaching in something called the Egg Bowl.
LSU Board Grants President Rousse Power to Fire Any Coach Who Tries to Speak With a Fake Louisiana Accent
LSU’s new rule lets the president fire any coach who tries out a fake Louisiana accent, a policy clearly inspired by one very memorable “faaaam-uh-leeeee” moment.
Library Unveils $40 Million Ballroom Plan, Says It’s Needed To Host Events Explaining Why They Need Even More Money
The East Baton Rouge Library is celebrating a $40 million ballroom, claiming it’s the perfect venue to explain why they need even more money.
Nungesser Slams Operation Swamp Sweep, Says It Threatens His Sacred Ritual of Eating Every Fried Thing in Sight
Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser slammed the federal “Operation Swamp Sweep” crackdown, warning it could jeopardize his nonstop tradition of sampling every deep-fried object in Louisiana.
NOPD to End Federal Consent Decree, Chief Says She’ll Celebrate With Some Prunes and a Nice Long Nap
NOPD is finally off federal supervision, and the chief is celebrating with prunes and a powerful afternoon nap.
Saban Rumors Fly After He’s Spotted at Baton Rouge DMV, Fans Later Learn He’s Still In Line Waiting For His 2004 Renewal
Nick Saban’s quiet appearance at the Baton Rouge DMV sent LSU fans spiraling, only for officials to reveal he’s been stuck in the same line since 2004.