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Central Residents Stop Reporting Cox Outages, Begin Reporting When Service Is Actually Working
August 31, 2026
Central residents have finally found an easier way to track Cox outages: just report the rare...
Central Residents Respond To New Fireworks Ordinance By Vowing to Cut Illegal Fireworks From 11 Days To 9
August 27, 2026
Central residents have agreed to respect the new fireworks ordinance by doing almost exactly what...
Oak Point Fresh Market Introduces Smaller Chantilly Cake For Customers Who Want To Feel Better About Eating The Whole Thing
July 26, 2026
WATSON, LA – In what company officials are calling “a victory for portion control and...
Seven “Central Rants & Raves” Facebook Groups Report Immediate 94% Drop In Content After Wade Evans Exits Race
July 25, 2026
Seven Central Rants & Raves Facebook groups reportedly saw engagement collapse within hours after...
East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office Replaces Entire Central Substation Staff With Pastor Tony Spell
June 25, 2026
According to officials, 911 operators will first attempt to de-escalate disturbances by simply...
Central Church Pastor Enters UFC Transfer Portal Following Breakout Performance
June 24, 2026
After a surprise breakout performance thrust him into the spotlight, Central pastor Tony Spell...
Central Pastor’s Seminar On Conflict Resolution Postponed Due To Scheduling Issues
June 23, 2026
A Central pastor's planned seminar on conflict resolution has reportedly been postponed due to what...
City of Central to Host Altima Awareness Week Following Mayor’s Recent Crash
May 26, 2026
Central residents may soon see new “High Altima Activity Area” signs after city leaders unveiled...
The Sadvocate Begins Offering Print Edition Following Central’s 26th Cox Outage This Month
May 24, 2026
Cox outages in Central have reportedly become so severe that The Sadvocate has now been forced to...
Central Mayor Seen Removing Shirt at New City Hall to Reclaim Spotlight From Baseball Coach
April 21, 2026
A high school coach may have started the shirtless trend, but Central’s mayor made sure he finished...
Central Announces Pay-Per-View Cage Fight Between Mayor and Police Chief Over Budget Dispute
March 2, 2026
Central residents won’t need another town hall meeting. City leaders have officially decided to...
Central City Leaders Enter Third Week of Debate Over Comma Placement in Audit
February 24, 2026
Central leaders have now spent three weeks debating a comma in an audit report, proving once again...
After Surf Lake Backlash, Central Mayor Announces Even Bigger $400 Million Casino Resort Project
December 14, 2025
Critics laughed at Central’s surf lake plan. The mayor responded by casually announcing a $400...
Central Greenlights Surf Lake, Considers Gondola System for Sullivan Road Traffic
August 16, 2025
Central is going big: first a surf lake, now a gondola system over Sullivan Road. Officials say...
BREC Officials Admit They Forgot About Central’s Parks, Cite ‘Map Was Folded Over’
April 23, 2025
BREC officials admitted this week they forgot Central had parks at all, blaming a decades-old map...
Entergy Unveils Pilot Program in Central Neighborhood to See How Long Humans Can Go Without Power
April 19, 2025
Entergy says the rolling outages in Central are actually part of a new “pilot program” to study how...
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