Greg Sankey Says LSU Has Left Him No Choice But To Tell His Mom
After rules, lawsuits and threats of expulsion failed to resolve the LSU dispute, Greg Sankey is reportedly preparing the SEC’s most serious escalation yet.
SEC Changes Netflix Password, Turns Off Location Sharing With LSU
LSU insists the relationship can still be saved despite several increasingly concerning account changes.
Jeff Landry Threatens To Move LSU To NFC South If SEC Keeps Pushing Its Luck
Turns out there’s one conference where former NFL players are definitely eligible.
LSU Visiting Locker Room Named Defensive Player Of The Week, Immediately Declines Renovations
Lane Kiffin says LSU’s visiting locker room sucks. LSU officials are now calling that a feature.
Jeff Landry Renames New Iberia ‘New Louisiana,’ Orders Haircut To Remain Historically Protected
New Iberia may be getting a new name, but Louisiana officials say its most important cultural treasure isn’t going anywhere.
Clemson Changes Stadium Nickname To ‘You’ll Probably Be Fine Valley’ After 51–10 Loss To LSU
Clemson would like to clarify that visitors are not actually in significant danger.
LSU Extends Weather Delay Another 30 Minutes After Beer Sales Begin Slowing
LSU has detected a dangerous amount of disposable income inside Tiger Stadium.
Dabo Swinney Refuses To Let Team Take Field Until LSU Players Provide Two Forms Of ID
College football has officially entered the “bring two forms of ID” era.
SEC Punishes LSU For Winning In Court By Assigning Alabama Officials To Every Tigers Game
The SEC says there’s absolutely no connection between LSU’s court victory and its new officiating crews.
LSU Police Remind Tailgaters Marijuana Is Illegal, Encourage Everyone To Make Responsible Choice And Drink For 16 Straight Hours
LSU Police are reminding Tiger fans to make responsible choices this weekend, including the responsible choice to drink continuously for 12 hours.
Volunteer Group Mistakes Clemson Tiger For Transient During Cleanup Effort, Offers Him Food, Shelter
LSU fans eventually had to explain that Clemson brought him here on purpose.
Louisiana Requires Incoming Shrimp To Pronounce ‘Tchoupitoulas’ Before Being Certified As Local
Claiming you’re Louisiana shrimp is easy. Pronouncing “Tchoupitoulas” under pressure is where things get complicated.
Clemson Allowed To Bring Cannon On Flight To LSU After TSA Officials Determine It Poses No Safety Threat
Clemson’s cannon is headed to LSU, and somehow airport security isn’t losing any sleep over it.
LSU President Implements New Rule Requiring Visiting Tiger Mascots To Actually Resemble Tigers
LSU officials insist Clemson was not specifically targeted by the suspiciously specific new Tiger policy.
Audit Finds 15 Louisiana Boards Doing Absolutely Nothing, Making Them State’s Most Efficient Government Entities
Louisiana may have finally discovered the secret to efficient government: stop doing government.
Landry Renames Jackson Square ‘Landry Square’ In Latest Effort To Improve Relations With New Orleans
Gov. Jeff Landry announced Jackson Square will officially become “Landry Square,” calling the unexpected renaming an important first step toward improving relations with New Orleans.
Fire Marshal Declares Clemson Cannon Safe for Indoor Use at Kid’s Birthday Parties
The device has officially been certified safe for indoor birthday parties after fire marshals declared it no louder than a balloon pop.
Baton Rouge Children Refuse To Believe Entire Ralph & Kacoo’s Building Was One Restaurant After Seeing Photos
Kids today aren’t prepared for the scale of old Baton Rouge.
Louisiana Officials Assure Residents SpaceX Rockets Will Be Much Quieter Than Neighbor’s Airboat
Louisiana officials have heard your concerns about rocket noise. Then they heard an airboat.
Louisiana GOP Endorses Entire Republican Primary To Maintain Perfect Record
The Louisiana GOP has discovered the secret to a 100% endorsement success rate.
LSU Revokes Fan’s Season Tickets After He Says He’d Be Satisfied With A 10-Win Season
LSU fans are encouraged to keep expectations where they belong: completely unreasonable.
Central Residents Stop Reporting Cox Outages, Begin Reporting When Service Is Actually Working
Central residents have finally found an easier way to track Cox outages: just report the rare occasions when the internet actually works.
Baton Rouge Residents Begin Passing Fleur de Lis Reopening Rumors Down To Their Children
Another generation must now carry the burden of waiting for Fleur de Lis.
LSU Fan Introduces Seven-Year-Old Son To Sacred Family Tradition Of Complaining About Offensive Coordinator
Family members said Mason will receive the final stage of his LSU football education when he learns to blame the offensive coordinator for a missed field goal.
State Launches Online Tracker Showing Current Number Of Active Disputes Between New Orleans and Jeff Landry
New Orleans disputed the state’s dispute tracker, immediately proving the tracker works.
Julia Letlow Plans Bill Requiring Federal Officials To Spend A Friday On I-10 in Baton Rouge Before Denying Louisiana Road Funding
Julia Letlow has found a faster way to explain Louisiana infrastructure problems to Washington: I-10 at 5 p.m.
LSU Fans Announce They Will Give Lane Kiffin At Least Two Offensive Series Before Forming Opinion
LSU fans are promising unprecedented patience with Lane Kiffin: two entire offensive series.
LSU Fans Begin Practicing Complaints About Play Calling In Preparation For Season Opener
LSU fans are preparing for Clemson by practicing the most important part of game day.
Jeff Landry Renames Toledo Bend Reservoir ‘Lake Louisiana,’ Gives Texas 30 Days To Stop Using It
Toledo Bend is now Lake Louisiana, and Texas has been given its eviction notice.
Livingston Parish Council Delays Flock Camera Vote After Camera Provides Complete List Of Everyone Who Attended Meeting
The council delayed its surveillance vote shortly after surveillance confirmed everyone was there.