Officials Confirm LSU Lakes Construction Site Now Eligible For Historical Landmark Status
After years of dredging, detours, and progress updates, officials say the LSU Lakes construction site has officially been around long enough to qualify for historical landmark status.
Louisiana Governor Unveils Pathway To Cajun Citizenship For Children Born North Of I-10
Under Governor Jeff Landry’s proposal, children born in North Louisiana would receive temporary “Provisional Cajun” status while completing years of cultural requirements.
Louisiana Residents Relieved Hurricane Forecast Only Predicts “Catastrophic” Season Instead Of “Apocalyptic”
Louisiana residents breathed a sigh of relief this week after experts downgraded this year’s hurricane outlook from “apocalyptic” to merely “catastrophic.”
Baton Rouge Railroad Crossings To Receive Additional Safety Features Drivers Can Also Ignore
State officials announced a series of new railroad crossing safety improvements this week, giving Baton Rouge drivers several additional warning systems they can confidently ignore on their way to work.
Officials Confirm Elayn Hunt Prison Contraband Operation Has Outgrown Several Louisiana Ports
State officials confirmed this week that Elayn Hunt Correctional Center has officially become Louisiana’s third-largest port by volume of imported consumer goods.
Baton Rouge Area Dad Still Convinced Delchamps Had Better Meat Than Any Grocery Store In Louisiana
Despite nearly three decades of advancements in grocery stores, one Baton Rouge dad remains convinced Delchamps still had the best meat department Louisiana has ever seen.
Louisiana Department Of Wildlife Confirms Most Aggressive Animal In State Remains The Boat Launch Parking Lot Dad
Louisiana wildlife officials say alligators, wild hogs, and snakes remain far less aggressive than the average boat launch parking lot dad.
Louisiana Residents Admit Hurricane Preparation Is Just Early Tailgate Preparation
A new study found most Louisiana residents no longer distinguish between hurricane preparation and LSU tailgate preparation.
Study Finds Former Broadmoor Theatre Patrons Possess Antibodies For Diseases Yet To Be Discovered
Researchers say former Broadmoor Theatre patrons possess antibodies for diseases that haven’t even been discovered yet, thanks to decades of exposure to Baton Rouge’s most legendary dollar theater.
Attorney General Leases Brave Cave To Store Overflow Evidence in Baton Rouge Corruption Case
BATON ROUGE, LA – Citing an unexpected surge in documents, emails, meeting notes, contracts, invoices, and other materials associated with the ongoing Baton Rouge corruption investigation, Louisiana Attorney General investigators announced this week that additional storage space was needed to accommodate the growing collection of evidence. According to sources, investigators initially expected to need only […]
Study Finds 62% Of Baton Rouge Directions Still Somehow Involve Cortana Mall
A new study found that 62% of directions given in Baton Rouge still somehow involve Cortana Mall, despite the mall being gone for years.
LSU Creates Official STTDB Etiquette Guide For Weddings And Corporate Events
LSU officials say years of confusion have finally forced the university to publish formal guidelines explaining exactly when fans should, and should not, yell STTDB in public.
State Announces New Penalties For Repeat DWI Offenders, Bringing Total Consequences To Roughly One Traffic Ticket
Louisiana lawmakers are celebrating a major crackdown on repeat DWI offenders after raising the consequences from “basically nothing” to “roughly one traffic ticket.”
Louisiana Historian Claims He Can Identify Any Parish By Counting Number Of Dollar Generals Visible From Single Dollar General Parking Lot
A Louisiana historian says he can identify any parish by counting the number of Dollar Generals visible from a single Dollar General parking lot. State officials are reportedly reviewing the research.
Local Man Attends Crawfish Boil Strictly To Critique Other People’s Boiling Technique
Louisiana researchers estimate that roughly 18% of all crawfish consumed each spring are eaten by people whose primary contribution was complaining about the boil.
Coach O Accidentally Signs Two Offensive Linemen While Ordering Boudin At Local Gas Station
Sources say Coach O’s recruiting success rate at Louisiana gas stations now exceeds several major recruiting websites combined.
EBR Schools Marks Seven Straight Days Without Campus Gun Incident
EBR administrators marked seven straight incident-free days this week, a streak experts are attributing primarily to locked doors and zero students.
State Encourages Landowners to Think of Carbon Capture Land Seizures as “Involuntary Environmentalism”
Landowners are being encouraged to view forced participation in carbon storage as a meaningful contribution to the environment they didn’t agree to make.
District Court Tests Pilot Program Letting Violent Offenders Pre-Schedule Their Next Release
Baton Rouge courts are rolling out a new pilot program aimed at efficiency, and critics say it may be the most honest acknowledgment yet of how predictable the system has become.
Landry Pushes Trump to Open Strait of Hormuz to Licensed Louisiana Fishermen After Taking Him Fishing There
After Trump reportedly caught multiple mackerel in the Strait of Hormuz, Landry now wants Louisiana fishermen to have access to the same waters.
Zachary Neighbor Who Shut Down Go-Kart Track Now Drafting New Complaint Against Passing Cars
After shutting down a go-kart track, a Zachary neighbor is already working on her next complaint, this time targeting passing cars on a nearby highway.
Longtime Pothole Earns Landmark Status After Outlasting Several Mayors And Repair Budgets
A pothole on Airline Highway has officially achieved what most projects never do, completion through neglect and recognition through survival.
Delta Customers Establish Official “Bill Opening Support Group,” Urge Friends to Attend
Baton Rouge residents are no longer opening Delta bills alone, they’re hosting full “Bill Opening Nights” with friends just to confirm the numbers are actually real.
Local Rants & Raves Facebook Group Solves Absolutely Nothing for 47th Consecutive Day
One of Baton Rouge’s most active Facebook groups just hit an impressive streak, 47 straight days of solving absolutely nothing, while somehow generating hundreds of comments and even more confusion.
Man Completes Errand On Siegen Lane In Under 2 Hours, Declared Local Legend
A Baton Rouge man completed a full errand on Siegen Lane in under two hours, prompting officials to investigate what they’re calling a “temporary and highly suspicious lapse in traffic conditions.”
Baton Rouge Residents Begin Measuring Distance in “How Many Red Lights” Instead of Miles
Residents say the new system finally reflects reality, where a “quick trip” can mean sitting through four lights and watching the same car next to you age in real time.
Louisiana Named Most Stressful State, Officials Say Results Skewed by I-10 Traffic Alone
Louisiana just got ranked the most stressful state, but officials say the results are skewed by one very specific Baton Rouge experience that locals already consider a daily survival exercise.
City Park Golf Course to Seamlessly Integrate With LSU Lakes Project’s 35-Year Timeline
City officials say the redesigned City Park course will allow golfers to play alongside active construction, creating a “shared experience” with the LSU Lakes project for the next 35 years.
Landry Spends Two Days Training in North Louisiana Snow to Prepare for Greenland Envoy Role
Officials said the governor’s North Louisiana trip provided all the necessary exposure to ice, snow, and public frustration required to represent Louisiana interests abroad.
Zachary Launches New Code Enforcement System After Discovering Residents Have Been Ignoring Old One for Years
City officials say the upgraded system replaces handwritten complaints and months of inaction with a faster process designed to finally confirm that residents were never confused about the rules, just completely uninterested in following them.