Louisiana Officials Assure Residents SpaceX Rockets Will Be Much Quieter Than Neighbor’s Airboat
Louisiana officials have heard your concerns about rocket noise. Then they heard an airboat.
Louisiana Critics Demand Historic Economic Investment, Furious After State Lands Historic Economic Investment
Apparently, attracting major companies to Louisiana was much more appealing when it was only hypothetical.
Tropical Storm Dolly Threatens To Become First Dolly To Ever Leave A Community Worse Off
Officials reminded residents that this particular Dolly is unlikely to leave behind books, scholarships or considerably better lives.
Thousands Of Louisiana Residents End Brief Careers As Data Center Experts, Begin New Careers In Rocket Science
Louisiana’s data center experts have officially moved on. Their next assignment: rocket science.
SpaceX Unveils Plans For Louisiana Operations Center Featuring Rocket Lab, Mission Control Center And Fleet Of Shrimp Boats
Louisiana’s newest technology campus will push the boundaries of spaceflight while maintaining convenient access to the afternoon shrimp haul.
Downtown Baton Rouge Officials Hope This Weekend’s Fights Will Be More Family-Friendly
Downtown Baton Rouge officials have one modest goal for this weekend: keep the fights family-friendly.
SpaceX Cancels Louisiana Facility After Discovering Rocket Needs Separate Wind And Flood Policies
SpaceX reconsidered its proposed Louisiana launch facility after learning every rocket would require separate wind and flood policies.
Louisiana Officials Celebrate Third Straight Day Of Historically Low Illegal Balloon Releases
Officials said balloon-related incidents have fallen to their lowest level in state history, though they acknowledged the official reporting period currently covers approximately 72 hours.
LSU Assigns Cajun Host Family To Incoming Pitcher Logan Schmidt To Ease Transition From California
BATON ROUGE, LA – Shortly after highly regarded California pitcher Logan Schmidt committed to LSU over professional baseball and junior college, the university announced it had assigned him a Cajun host family to help with what officials described as his “far more challenging transition to Louisiana.” According to the program, Schmidt’s first week will include […]
Louisiana Legislature Celebrates New Laws Taking Effect By Immediately Drafting Bills To Correct Them
Louisiana lawmakers reportedly wasted no time fixing the laws that just took effect by immediately drafting new laws to fix the old new laws.
Truck Fire Closes I-10, Leaves Average Baton Rouge Commute Virtually Unchanged
Truck fire closes I-10, leaves average Baton Rouge commute virtually unchanged after drivers admit they couldn’t even tell the interstate had been shut down.
State Assures Residents Nuclear Waste Will Blend Right In With Chemical Waste And Captured Carbon
Economic development leaders touted the initiative as another opportunity, while residents wondered if the state had accidentally checked the “accept all” box on federal applications.
Flock Camera Sues Company For Mental Anguish After Assignment To I-10 in Baton Rouge
The camera is reportedly seeking counseling, damages, and a permanent transfer to literally any highway where vehicles occasionally exceed 10 miles per hour.
Baton Rouge Introduces Heritage Trail Connecting Every Building That Used To Be A Delchamps, Shoney’s, Or Godfather’s Pizza
Google Maps may know where you’re going, but only a lifelong Baton Rouge resident knows where everything used to be.
Economists Say Baton Rouge Kids Grossly Overestimated The Purchasing Power Of Their ShowBiz Pizza Tickets
Former customers insist they still compare expensive purchases to ShowBiz ticket values, while many remain convinced one more game of Skee-Ball would’ve changed everything.
Navigation Apps Begin Updating Baton Rouge Arrival Times In Business Days Ahead Of School Starting
Parents have just a few more days to enjoy normal commute times before Baton Rouge’s annual back-to-school traffic returns. Navigation apps say they’re preparing accordingly.
Residents Relieved They No Longer Have To Explain Why Baton Rouge’s Hockey Team Name Had Nothing To Do With Baton Rouge
Baton Rouge residents say the best part of the Kingfish returning isn’t hockey—it’s never having to explain the Zydeco name again.
The Sadvocate Editorial Board Declares State Of Emergency Following Nissan Altima Discontinuation
Nissan may have discontinued the Altima, but The Sadvocate isn’t ready to let one of its most dependable recurring characters retire just yet.
Lane Regional Hospital Updates Dating Profile, Seeks Partner With MRI Machine And Healthy Cash Reserve
Lane Regional finally upgraded to premium because the free version kept matching them with broke hospital systems.
LSU Fraternity Head Says Kitchen Employee Misunderstood Request To “Keep House Stocked With Coke”
LSU fraternity members say a kitchen employee misunderstood repeated requests to “keep the house stocked with Coke,” prompting a swift rewrite of the employee handbook.
New Siegen Lane Design Will Feature State-Of-The-Art Places To Sit Through Three Light Cycles
Local commuters welcomed the investment, saying they’ll finally have something nice to admire while inching forward three car lengths every six minutes.
Boosie Offered 10% Off His Next Presidential Pardon After Delivery Mishap
Customer service reportedly couldn’t deliver the presidential pardon, but they were more than happy to offer Boosie 10% off the next one.
Louisiana Man Refuses To Trust His GPS Until It Has Driven These Roads For At Least Ten Years
Louisiana drivers say no GPS can truly understand the state’s roads until it’s spent at least a decade getting lost alongside everyone else.
Landry Recall Event Declares Record Turnout After UPS Driver Stops To Ask For Directions
A Slidell recall event reportedly experienced its biggest surge of the day after a UPS driver stopped to ask for directions, prompting organizers to briefly believe reinforcements had arrived.
Baton Rouge Driver Misses Entire Green Light Looking At Waze To See Why Traffic Isn’t Moving
Experts say Baton Rouge traffic has become so unpredictable that residents now assume every delay is someone else’s fault.
Police Ask Criminals To Wait For Breaks In The Fireworks Before Opening Fire On Each Other Tonight
Residents say the annual “fireworks or gunshots?” debate has become as much a Fourth of July tradition as hot dogs and sparklers.
Officials Confirm LSU Lakes Construction Site Now Eligible For Historical Landmark Status
After years of dredging, detours, and progress updates, officials say the LSU Lakes construction site has officially been around long enough to qualify for historical landmark status.
Louisiana Governor Unveils Pathway To Cajun Citizenship For Children Born North Of I-10
Under Governor Jeff Landry’s proposal, children born in North Louisiana would receive temporary “Provisional Cajun” status while completing years of cultural requirements.
Louisiana Residents Relieved Hurricane Forecast Only Predicts “Catastrophic” Season Instead Of “Apocalyptic”
Louisiana residents breathed a sigh of relief this week after experts downgraded this year’s hurricane outlook from “apocalyptic” to merely “catastrophic.”
Baton Rouge Railroad Crossings To Receive Additional Safety Features Drivers Can Also Ignore
State officials announced a series of new railroad crossing safety improvements this week, giving Baton Rouge drivers several additional warning systems they can confidently ignore on their way to work.