BATON ROUGE, LA – State and local officials unveiled a series of proposed safety improvements at several Baton Rouge railroad crossings this week, announcing plans to install additional warning lights, upgraded crossing arms, enhanced pavement markings, and other features drivers can confidently ignore.

The proposed upgrades come after concerns about safety at railroad crossings throughout the city. Officials say the new measures are designed to provide motorists with even more opportunities to recognize that a train is approaching before deciding they can beat it anyway.

“We believe these improvements will make crossings significantly safer,” said one transportation official. “At a minimum, they’ll provide investigators with a longer list of warning systems that were disregarded.”

According to the proposal, motorists will now be alerted by flashing red lights, lowered crossing gates, pavement striping, warning signs, train horns, and in some locations, a man yelling “Hey dumbass, that’s a train coming”.

Transportation experts estimate the average Baton Rouge driver begins calculating whether they can make it across roughly 0.8 seconds after the first warning light activates.

Several residents welcomed the upgrades but expressed concern that the additional safety features might slow traffic.

“I understand safety is important,” said one commuter. “I just think there should be an exemption for people who are already late.”

Officials say construction could begin later this year, assuming drivers don’t find a way to drive around the work zones first.