Jeff Landry Demands LSU Men’s Basketball Coach Register as a Liability With the State
After another LSU loss, Governor Jeff Landry has unveiled a new defensive strategy, state registration. The head coach may soon require official paperwork before drawing up another play.
Tiger Stadium Connectivity Upgrade Will Allow 100,000 Fans To Post “How Much Is The Buyout?” Simultaneously
Engineers confirmed the $45 million connectivity upgrade was specifically engineered to handle simultaneous uploads of blurry targeting replays, emotional coaching buyouts, and urgent chants of “Play Neck” in high definition.
City-Parish Unveils “BROOME Initiative” After Fifth Indictment Tied to Former Administration
After the fifth indictment tied to the previous administration, City-Parish unveils the “Baton Rouge Oversight of Official Misconduct & Ethics” (BROOME) Initiative, a structured program designed to bring organization to an increasingly familiar pattern.
Legislature Promises to Protect Budget Stability by Creating 14 New Committees to Study It
Louisiana finally finds budget stability, immediately places it under investigation. Fourteen committees now studying whether calm financial conditions pose a threat to long-standing traditions.
LSU Offers Students Parking Fine Consolidation Loans With Competitive 9.8% APR
LSU students can now refinance their Starbucks parking tickets into a long-term loan, because nothing says higher education like 20 years of interest on a latte run.
State Assures Public Pecue Overpass is “Exactly Like A Regular Intersection, But Wrong”
The state wants everyone to relax about Pecue. It is not wrong. It just feels wrong. Very professionally and efficiently wrong.
Metro Council to Offer BRPD Honorary Council Seats, Allowing Officers to Continue Working If Charged Criminally
In an effort to address the police shortage, Metro Council members are considering granting BRPD officers honorary council seats so indictments no longer automatically sideline them from duty.
EBR School System Audit Reveals $300K Check Cashed by “Someone Who Seemed Legit at the Time”
The district stated it is reviewing internal controls and considering additional safeguards, including additional training, clearer policies, and a policy prohibiting the cashing of altered $300,000 checks.
Driver Who Took Out Power Pole Named Super Bowl MVP by Thousands Who Missed the Game in Baton Rouge
BATON ROUGE, LA – In a city where football is treated as a civic duty, thousands of South Baton Rouge residents agreed Monday night that the most dominant performance of Super Bowl Sunday came not from the field, but from the driver who slammed into a power pole on Highland Road and knocked out electricity […]
Recall Effort Launched Against Mayor for Not Attracting Federal Investigation Like Previous Administration
A recall effort is underway after residents noticed something deeply wrong at City Hall, no investigations, no probes, and no federal interest, a sharp break from recent Baton Rouge tradition.
Louisiana Introduces 48-Hour Courtesy Warrant Window for Elected Officials With Travel Plans
State officials described the delay as a scheduling accommodation, explaining that warrants are serious matters but should not disrupt travel, networking, or previously booked government-adjacent social obligations.
CATS Confirms Only Employee Without Indictment Was a Bus Driver, Names Him CEO
After a wave of indictments emptied CATS’ executive offices, officials confirmed the agency’s only unindicted employee, a longtime bus driver, has been promoted to CEO.
CATS Spokesman Confirms Indictment Count Has Officially Surpassed Ridership
CATS confirmed the number of former officials under indictment has officially surpassed daily ridership, a milestone officials described as inevitable given years of empty buses and active investigations.
Baton Rouge Leaders Finalize Arrangement with Tony Chachere’s for Resale of Unused Road Salt After Storm Passes
Baton Rouge prepared for ice, but officials also prepared for disappointment. If the storm fizzles, city leaders already have a plan to turn excess salt into budget relief.
LSU Officials Admit NBA YoungBoy Concert May Be First Event Where People Stay Through the End
LSU officials admit an NBA YoungBoy concert may finally test whether Tiger Stadium can hold a crowd until the end, something football, graduations, and weather delays have failed to accomplish.
CATS Officials Assure Public That New Indictments Were Already Accounted For in Original Budget
Officials said the indictments would not disrupt operations, explaining that arrests, audits, and criminal investigations were already factored into long-term planning and routine dysfunction.
Guaranty Media Celebrates 100 Years by Sharing Its First-Ever News Story: New Mississippi River Bridge Planned
To mark 100 years in Baton Rouge, Guaranty Media looked back at its very first news story, a timeless classic announcing a new Mississippi River bridge that is still, somehow, being planned.
Metro Council Moves to Protect Florida Blvd’s “Natural Trash Distribution System”
Officials warned that a waste facility could interfere with Florida Boulevard’s long-established system of spontaneous debris placement, seasonal flooding, and decades of carefully unplanned garbage redistribution.
New BRPD Drone Dispatched to North Baton Rouge, Immediately Asked To Borrow A Dollar
Officials say the drone was unharmed but has since been reprogrammed to maintain higher altitude and never carry a pack of cigarettes.
Recent CATS Indictment Suggests Bus System Actually Had Money at Some Point, Shocking Local Residents
The indictment stunned Baton Rouge residents, many of whom admitted they were unaware the Capital Area Transit System had money available to steal.
BR Residents Invited to Delta Utilities Town Hall, Told Company Rep Will Be Joining by Zoom From Yacht in Caribbean
Officials confirmed the meeting would proceed normally, noting that offshore connectivity issues are considered standard practice in modern customer service and public accountability.
DOTD Confirms New Pecue Lane Design at Interstate Is Working Exactly As Designed, Just Not As Expected
DOTD insists the Pecue interchange is performing flawlessly, provided drivers abandon instinct, common sense, and any expectations formed by decades of Baton Rouge commuting.
Waze Adds “Shootings Along Your Route” Notices for Baton Rouge Commuters After Violent Weekend
Waze users noted the notices rarely change destinations, only routes, reflecting how quickly abnormal conditions have become part of everyday decision-making.
Judge Evicts Store Owner From Highland Road Property, Clarifies Criminal Activity Welcome to Continue
A judge has officially shut down the store but not the scene, removing the owner while leaving everything else exactly where it’s always been.
EBR Schools Consider Sonic Partnership, Citing Company’s “Longstanding Experience With Fights”
After another school fight, EBR officials think outside the classroom, eyeing an unlikely partner whose parking lots have quietly hosted Louisiana’s conflict resolution for decades.
East Baton Rouge Metro Council Accused of Violating State Constitution, Requests Copy to See What’s In It
A lawsuit alleges the Metro Council violated the state constitution, prompting members to request a copy to review what’s actually in it.
After Baton Rouge and New Orleans Tour, ICE Agents Request Transfer to “Something Calmer,” Like Gaza
ICE agents say Gaza “seems peaceful” after spending several days in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, citing South Louisiana’s unique blend of traffic, politics, and Dodge Chargers driving recklessly.
Locals Demanding Answers After Taxes Rise in Baton Rouge, Insist This Was Supposed to Be a St. George Problem
Baton Rouge homeowners were shocked to discover their tax bills had increased, insisting this kind of problem was contractually guaranteed to happen only in St. George.
In Lieu of Raises, City-Parish Authorizes BRPD to Deliver for DoorDash and UberEats in Patrol Vehicles
City leaders insist the SIDE HUSTLE UNIT will “boost retention,” but officers argue that when a department relies on gig-app deliveries to keep paychecks afloat, retention might not be the core issue anymore.
Lane Kiffin Says He Chose LSU For Tradition, Passion, And “The Unmatched Quality Of Baton Rouge Gas Station Food”
Lane Kiffin’s first LSU press appearance took an unexpected turn when he praised Baton Rouge’s gas-station cuisine as a deciding factor in his move. Fans shrugged, noting that understanding hot-bar culture is practically a requirement for the job.