baton rouge Archives - The Sadvocate

EBRSO Chase on Siegen Ends in Collision, Nearby Encampments Add “Free Entertainment” to Neighborhood Perks

A high-speed chase ended on Siegen Lane with a crash into a deputy, but nearby encampments saw it as an upgrade. Residents called it “free entertainment,” branding the chaos as just another perk of life along Baton Rouge’s busiest stretch of highway.

Coach Kelly Admits Viral Outburst Fueled by Anticipation of Sadvocate Memes After Florida Performance

Brian Kelly admitted his postgame outburst wasn’t about referees or reporters, it was about bracing for The Sadvocate’s inevitable meme flood after LSU’s offense sputtered against Florida. “I wasn’t mad at the game,” Kelly explained. “I was mad at what was coming.”

DA Declares Highland Food Mart a Nuisance But Still Much Safer Than Siegen Lane at Night

Hillar Moore’s crackdown on a Highland gas station drew laughs when he noted the store, despite its sketchy reputation, remains less dangerous than Siegen Lane. Residents say they’d rather gamble with the Food Mart’s parking lot dice game than turn left onto Siegen.

Baton Rouge Hopes Efficiency Officer Can Turn 6-Month Trash Complaints Into 4-Month Trash Complaints

Baton Rouge has created a Chief Efficiency Officer role, promising faster service delivery. Leaders say if trash complaints drop from six months to four, that’s progress. Residents aren’t so sure, they’re still waiting on responses from 2017

Baton Rouge Suspect Earns Platinum Status in State’s “Early Release Club”

Louisiana’s justice system is celebrating consistency, granting “Platinum Status” to a Baton Rouge man accused of raping a 4-year-old girl, just weeks after his latest release. With a rap sheet that reads like a phone book, officials say he’s a “valued repeat customer.”

City Rolls Out Curfew: Late-Night Taco Bell Runs Now Classified as Felonies

Baton Rouge’s new curfew outlaws late-night Taco Bell cravings, classifying Crunchwrap runs after 10 p.m. as felonies. City leaders say it’s about crime prevention; teenagers say it’s about depriving them of nacho fries and questionable life choices.

BREC Calls $30K in Missing Equipment An Investment in Baton Rouge’s Thriving Pawn Shop Industry

An audit may have flagged $30,000 in missing equipment, but BREC insists the items aren’t lost, they’ve simply been “reinvested” into Baton Rouge pawn shops. According to officials, every mower and treadmill sold secondhand is proof of the agency’s commitment to “local economic development.”

Experts Debate if 19th JDC in Baton Rouge is a Court of Law or the Set of a Sitcom

Baton Rouge’s 19th JDC courthouse is less a temple of justice and more a live sitcom set. With attorneys stacking up contempt charges like frequent flyer miles, experts now wonder if the court should hire writers or simply sell tickets to the public.

Judge Gives Boosie Choice: Two Years in Prison or Move Back to Baton Rouge

A California judge shocked the courtroom by giving rapper Boosie a stark choice: serve two years in prison or move back to Baton Rouge. Observers noted Boosie appeared more rattled by the thought of Florida Boulevard traffic than federal lockup.

Sherwood Forest Sidewalk Expansion Increases Stolen Shopping Cart Capacity From 1 to 2 Wide

South Sherwood Forest’s long-awaited upgrades are finally complete, and city officials couldn’t be prouder. While they advertised safer commutes for drivers, locals say the real winners are the stolen shopping carts now cruising two-wide across the new sidewalks.

BR Officials to Launch Program Called “Parenting,” Refer to it as Curfew Enforcement

Baton Rouge’s new curfew, dubbed a “groundbreaking parenting program,” has sparked both eye-rolls and debate. Proponents say the policy will curb truancy, while critics argue it only proves city leaders think bedtime is cheaper than fixing schools.

Criminals Refuse to Commit Crimes in East Baton Rouge Until Parish Prison Conditions Improve

East Baton Rouge’s criminal community has declared a boycott of local crime, refusing to risk Parish Prison until conditions improve. Offenders say they’ll relocate their “work” to neighboring parishes, sparking concern from 19th JDC judges who suddenly find themselves short on violent criminals to release.

Entergy Partners With Meta for Power; Will Add $4.99 Surcharge Per Facebook Friend Request to Customer Bills

Louisiana residents may soon pay $4.99 every time they accept or send a Facebook friend request. Entergy announced the new fee as part of its deal to power Meta’s data center, describing the charge as vital to “emotional bandwidth recovery” and “keeping tech billionaires comfortable.”

LSU Hires Indicted Developer For Arena Project After Struggling To Find One With Felony Warrants

City leaders defend the move as “perfectly on brand” for Louisiana. The arena is set to include a “Jury Deliberation Suite” for VIPs, and opening night will bring out everyone from ex-mayors to celebrity athletes with pending charges.

Perkins Overpass Project’s Phase One Includes Removing Everything People Liked About Perkins

Phase One of the Perkins Road Overpass project has begun with a clear mission: remove everything people actually liked about Perkins.

BREC Builds Temporary Splash Pad at the Brave Cave; Claims It’s Much Safer Than Howell Park

Despite Brave Cave’s dark history, the new splash pad’s security measures make it a better option than Howell Park’s pool that lasted only a month.

BREC Gun-Free Zone Signs to Be Upgraded to All-Caps

BREC officials say they’re upgrading the “Gun-Free Zone” sign to all-caps font hoping the change will stop future armed teens in their tracks.

Police Chiefs Accidentally Attend ‘How to Stay Out of Federal Prison’ Workshop and Immediately Fail

Two Louisiana police chiefs were arrested mid-conference in Baton Rouge after allegedly filing a fake armed robbery report, ironically just steps from a session on law enforcement ethics.

New BREC Leader Says She’s Open to All Ideas Except the Good Ones

BREC’s new superintendent is making the rounds to “listen,” but sources say she’s mostly just nodding politely and jotting down synonyms for “no.”

New 19th JDC Loyalty Program Lets Frequent Defendants Earn Points Toward Next Bond

A new “My19th Rewards” program is letting frequent Baton Rouge defendants earn bond points with every arrest. Court officials say it’s a way to “modernize the experience,” though critics call it a rewards system for repeat offenders. Even murder charges can now earn double points.

EMS Ambulance Thief Beats All Previous Response Times—Immediately Hired as Supervisor

EBR EMS just promoted a guy who stole one of their ambulances—because he only hit two cars and got there faster than anyone else on staff.

LADOTD Launches Study to Investigate Why Previous Studies Haven’t Studied Anything Yet

The LADOTD is now studying the studies about the new Mississippi River bridge—because apparently the only thing getting built in Louisiana is bureaucracy.

‘I’ll Sign Any Insurance Bill,’ Says Governor Who Immediately Doesn’t

Louisiana’s governor promised to sign “any” insurance bill—then vetoed the first one that reached him. Homeowners are left with high premiums and higher blood pressure.

State Says it Was Joking When It Told St. George Organizers to Form a City Then Apply for School District

Lawmakers now admit their guidance to St. George to “become a city first” was more of a polite brush-off than an actual policy.

BREC Launches Virtual Waterpark Experience to Offset Lifeguard Deficit at Liberty Lagoon

Amid a lifeguard shortage, BREC is rolling out their new “Virtual Swim Experience” at Liberty Lagoon this summer.

TikTok Brits Ask for Best Louisiana Food, Confused When Locals Drop Them Off at Gas Station

BATON ROUGE, LA – British TikTokers Josh & Jase, currently on a quest to “taste the soul of the South,” were left utterly baffled Tuesday when they asked Baton Rouge locals for the best place to eat—and were casually dropped off at a gas station off Airline Highway. “We assumed they misunderstood the question,” said […]

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