LSU Adds “Escaping a West Chimes Stampede” to Freshman Orientation Schedule
LSU freshmen already learn about storms and emergency alerts. Now orientation will address the campus hazard most likely to strike before classes even begin.
New Florida Boulevard Zoning Ordinance Requires Used Tire Shop Every 200 Feet
City planners looked at five tire shops in a quarter mile and identified the obvious problem: there was still some unused space.
State Approves $6.4 Million to Do What Man With Drill Suggested in 2016
A man suggested this in 2016, but his drill wasn’t government-certified.
Several EBR Council Members Criticize St. George Transit Plan For Providing No Backdoor Access To Public Funds
Several EBR Metro Council members have identified a serious flaw in St. George’s transit plan: every dollar appears to have an actual transportation-related purpose.
LSU Offers Jayden Daniels’ Mom Defensive Job After Watching Her Take Down a Heisman Quarterback
LSU watched Jayden Daniels’ mom take down a Heisman quarterback and immediately saw coaching potential.
LSU Fans Agree to Preserve Jayden Daniels’ Legacy by Never Mentioning Him Again
LSU fans have found the perfect way to protect Jayden Daniels’ legacy: erase it themselves.
Brian Kelly Sends LSU Cease-And-Desist Letter To Protect Legacy Of Blaming Team After Every Loss
Brian Kelly apparently wants LSU to respect the traditions he left behind. One of them may sound very familiar after a loss.
South Korea Prepares for NBA YoungBoy’s Arrival With 100 Raising Cane’s and 300 Gordon McKernan Billboards
Moving thousands of miles from Baton Rouge can be difficult, so South Korea is importing the complete local experience.
Comite Diversion Canal Wins Award For Best Upcoming Flood-Control Project Of 1983
After 43 years, the Comite Diversion Canal finally received the recognition it would have deserved in 1983.
BREC Unveils $125 Million City-Brooks Park Compromise Designed to Make Everyone Equally Furious
Baton Rouge has finally achieved compromise: everybody gets something they don’t want.
EBR Metro Council Considers Requiring Permits for Downtown Fights Involving More Than Six People
Baton Rouge leaders are considering a permit system designed to make downtown violence safer, more orderly, and significantly more bureaucratic.
Louisiana Officials Celebrate Third Straight Day Of Historically Low Illegal Balloon Releases
Officials said balloon-related incidents have fallen to their lowest level in state history, though they acknowledged the official reporting period currently covers approximately 72 hours.
LSU Assigns Cajun Host Family To Incoming Pitcher Logan Schmidt To Ease Transition From California
BATON ROUGE, LA – Shortly after highly regarded California pitcher Logan Schmidt committed to LSU over professional baseball and junior college, the university announced it had assigned him a Cajun host family to help with what officials described as his “far more challenging transition to Louisiana.” According to the program, Schmidt’s first week will include […]
Louisiana Legislature Celebrates New Laws Taking Effect By Immediately Drafting Bills To Correct Them
Louisiana lawmakers reportedly wasted no time fixing the laws that just took effect by immediately drafting new laws to fix the old new laws.
Poll Finds 93% Of LSU Fans Already Know Which Games The Refs Will Cost Them
College football season hasn’t started yet, but LSU fans have already circled every game the refs are allegedly going to steal.
Truck Fire Closes I-10, Leaves Average Baton Rouge Commute Virtually Unchanged
Truck fire closes I-10, leaves average Baton Rouge commute virtually unchanged after drivers admit they couldn’t even tell the interstate had been shut down.
Flock Camera Sues Company For Mental Anguish After Assignment To I-10 in Baton Rouge
The camera is reportedly seeking counseling, damages, and a permanent transfer to literally any highway where vehicles occasionally exceed 10 miles per hour.
Baton Rouge Introduces Heritage Trail Connecting Every Building That Used To Be A Delchamps, Shoney’s, Or Godfather’s Pizza
Google Maps may know where you’re going, but only a lifelong Baton Rouge resident knows where everything used to be.
The National Weather Service Confirms Baton Rouge Will Skip Fall Again This Year
Baton Rouge residents are once again preparing for the city’s annual tradition of skipping fall entirely and heading straight from summer into a random December cold snap.
Economists Say Baton Rouge Kids Grossly Overestimated The Purchasing Power Of Their ShowBiz Pizza Tickets
Former customers insist they still compare expensive purchases to ShowBiz ticket values, while many remain convinced one more game of Skee-Ball would’ve changed everything.
Navigation Apps Begin Updating Baton Rouge Arrival Times In Business Days Ahead Of School Starting
Parents have just a few more days to enjoy normal commute times before Baton Rouge’s annual back-to-school traffic returns. Navigation apps say they’re preparing accordingly.
Secretary of State Clears 8-Minute Spot on Her Wednesday Calendar to Verify Baton Rouge Mayor Recall Signatures
The Secretary of State reportedly carved out an eight-minute opening on Wednesday to verify the Baton Rouge mayor recall signatures, citing the campaign’s famously slow start after collecting just 10 signatures in its first month.
TigerDroppings Poster Declares Football Season Over, Back On, Then Over Again Before Lunch
TigerDroppings reportedly declared LSU’s season over, back on, then over again before most Baton Rouge residents finished their first cup of coffee.
Baton Rouge Unveils Historic Grass Preservation Initiative After Running Out Of Mowing Money
Baton Rouge has officially solved its grass-cutting budget problem by simply declaring the grass historically significant.
Residents Relieved They No Longer Have To Explain Why Baton Rouge’s Hockey Team Name Had Nothing To Do With Baton Rouge
Baton Rouge residents say the best part of the Kingfish returning isn’t hockey—it’s never having to explain the Zydeco name again.
Louisiana Auto Insurance Companies Now Offering 72-Month Financing On 6-Month Policies
Louisiana auto insurance companies are now offering 72-month financing on standard 6-month policies, allowing drivers to make payments long after the coverage expires.
The Sadvocate Editorial Board Declares State Of Emergency Following Nissan Altima Discontinuation
Nissan may have discontinued the Altima, but The Sadvocate isn’t ready to let one of its most dependable recurring characters retire just yet.
LSU Fraternity Head Says Kitchen Employee Misunderstood Request To “Keep House Stocked With Coke”
LSU fraternity members say a kitchen employee misunderstood repeated requests to “keep the house stocked with Coke,” prompting a swift rewrite of the employee handbook.
Dearman’s Refuses To Add QR Code Menu, Citing Confidence That Everyone Already Knows What They Want
Baton Rouge’s oldest hamburger restaurant says QR codes would only slow down customers who already know exactly what they want.
New Siegen Lane Design Will Feature State-Of-The-Art Places To Sit Through Three Light Cycles
Local commuters welcomed the investment, saying they’ll finally have something nice to admire while inching forward three car lengths every six minutes.