Baton Rouge Bars Prepare For LSU-Ole Miss By Ordering Emergency 41,000 Michelob Ultras

Baton Rouge has entered the emergency preparedness phase of LSU-Ole Miss weekend.
BREC Spends $640,000 To Determine City Park Needs More Grass And Parking

BATON ROUGE, LA – After months of studies, public meetings and approximately $640,000 in planning expenses, BREC officials have unveiled a groundbreaking discovery about City-Brooks Community Park: it could use some grass and additional parking. The revelation was included in the final master plan presented this week, concluding an extensive process involving consultants, community feedback […]
Amazon Says Baton Rouge Drone Noise Complaints Extremely Low Among Residents Living Out Of Range

Amazon says Baton Rouge drone noise complaints remain remarkably low, particularly among residents who live nowhere near the drones.
Broadmoor Man Orders Earplugs To Block Out Amazon Drones, Delivery Arrives By Amazon Drone

A Broadmoor man finally figured out how to deal with all those Amazon drones. Unfortunately, he ordered the solution from Amazon.
Tiger Stadium Sells 41,000 Michelob Ultras, Sets New Record For Most Water Consumed At LSU Game

A lengthy weather delay helped LSU fans accomplish the unthinkable: consuming more water than ever before inside Tiger Stadium.
Baton Rouge Loop Once Again Being Considered Following Brief 40-Year Consideration Period

After a brief four-decade consideration period, officials say the Baton Rouge Loop is once again under consideration.
Volunteer Group Mistakes Clemson Tiger For Transient During Cleanup Effort, Offers Him Food, Shelter

LSU fans eventually had to explain that Clemson brought him here on purpose.
Louisiana Requires Incoming Shrimp To Pronounce ‘Tchoupitoulas’ Before Being Certified As Local

Claiming you’re Louisiana shrimp is easy. Pronouncing “Tchoupitoulas” under pressure is where things get complicated.
Audit Finds 15 Louisiana Boards Doing Absolutely Nothing, Making Them State’s Most Efficient Government Entities

Louisiana may have finally discovered the secret to efficient government: stop doing government.
Baton Rouge Children Refuse To Believe Entire Ralph & Kacoo’s Building Was One Restaurant After Seeing Photos

Kids today aren’t prepared for the scale of old Baton Rouge.
LSU Revokes Fan’s Season Tickets After He Says He’d Be Satisfied With A 10-Win Season

LSU fans are encouraged to keep expectations where they belong: completely unreasonable.
Baton Rouge Residents Begin Passing Fleur de Lis Reopening Rumors Down To Their Children

Another generation must now carry the burden of waiting for Fleur de Lis.
LSU Fan Introduces Seven-Year-Old Son To Sacred Family Tradition Of Complaining About Offensive Coordinator

Family members said Mason will receive the final stage of his LSU football education when he learns to blame the offensive coordinator for a missed field goal.
State Launches Online Tracker Showing Current Number Of Active Disputes Between New Orleans and Jeff Landry
New Orleans disputed the state’s dispute tracker, immediately proving the tracker works.
Julia Letlow Plans Bill Requiring Federal Officials To Spend A Friday On I-10 in Baton Rouge Before Denying Louisiana Road Funding

Julia Letlow has found a faster way to explain Louisiana infrastructure problems to Washington: I-10 at 5 p.m.
LSU Fans Announce They Will Give Lane Kiffin At Least Two Offensive Series Before Forming Opinion

LSU fans are promising unprecedented patience with Lane Kiffin: two entire offensive series.
Louisiana OMV Unveils Major Computer Upgrade Featuring Groundbreaking CD-ROM Technology

The days of outdated technology at Louisiana OMV are over. Welcome to slightly less outdated technology.
Central Residents Respond To New Fireworks Ordinance By Vowing to Cut Illegal Fireworks From 11 Days To 9

Central residents have agreed to respect the new fireworks ordinance by doing almost exactly what they were already doing.
Jeff Landry Announces Louisiana Version Of D.C. Grand Prix Featuring Only Nissan Altimas With Expired Texas Plates

The field is expected to include some of the fastest Altimas currently avoiding insurance verification.
LSU Tailgate Music Crackdown Forces Local Police To Complete Mandatory Boosie Certification

LSU’s new tailgate music rules have local police brushing up on one of Baton Rouge’s most important languages: Boosie.
LSU Adds Certified Court Order To List Of Required Practice Equipment

After multiple court rulings affected players connected to LSU, the Tigers are reportedly making legal paperwork mandatory practice gear.
BREC Sends Local Mom Cease & Desist Letter After Posting “Beautiful Day At Highland Road Park”

Fresh off its trademark dispute with Friends of City Park Baton Rouge, BREC is reportedly expanding enforcement to taxpayers who recklessly use the names of the parks they fund.
Lamont Cole Asks Judge To Throw Out Indictment Under Louisiana’s LSU Football Season Immunity Act

Cole’s attorneys are asking the court to respect Louisiana’s most sacred legal protection: LSU football.
LSU Drone Ban Creates Major Setback For Amazon’s Plan To Deliver Booze Directly To Student Section

LSU’s drone ban has created an unexpected problem for Amazon’s most promising Baton Rouge market.
Downtown Baton Rouge Officials Hope This Weekend’s Fights Will Be More Family-Friendly

Downtown Baton Rouge officials have one modest goal for this weekend: keep the fights family-friendly.
LSU Student Uses ChatGPT To Draft Appeal Denying He Cheated Used ChatGPT

LSU suspected his assignment was written by AI. His perfectly written three-page denial should clear everything up.
LSU Adds “Escaping a West Chimes Stampede” to Freshman Orientation Schedule

LSU freshmen already learn about storms and emergency alerts. Now orientation will address the campus hazard most likely to strike before classes even begin.
New Florida Boulevard Zoning Ordinance Requires Used Tire Shop Every 200 Feet

City planners looked at five tire shops in a quarter mile and identified the obvious problem: there was still some unused space.
State Approves $6.4 Million to Do What Man With Drill Suggested in 2016

A man suggested this in 2016, but his drill wasn’t government-certified.
Several EBR Council Members Criticize St. George Transit Plan For Providing No Backdoor Access To Public Funds

Several EBR Metro Council members have identified a serious flaw in St. George’s transit plan: every dollar appears to have an actual transportation-related purpose.