BATON ROUGE, LA – A new statewide poll released Friday found that 93% of LSU football fans have already identified the exact games this season that will be decided by “blown calls, questionable spots, and at least one flag that somehow only exists when LSU has momentum.”
The survey, conducted one month before kickoff, revealed that most respondents haven’t watched a single snap of meaningful football this season but remain completely confident they can predict every officiating controversy through December.
“I’ve already got four losses circled,” said lifelong LSU fan Craig Fontenot while studying the schedule. “One because of SEC refs, one because of replay officials, and one because they’ll suddenly decide holding isn’t a penalty unless LSU’s doing it.”
Researchers noted that fans were remarkably divided over which opponents would benefit from the officiating, but nearly unanimous that every questionable call would somehow favor the other team.
SEC officials responded to the poll by reminding fans that assignments for this season’s officiating crews have not yet been finalized, adding that they’d appreciate everyone waiting until at least Week 2 before accusing them of stealing a game.
The poll has already been challenged by the remaining 7%, who insisted the actual number is 100%.
