BATON ROUGE, LA – East Baton Rouge Parish school leaders praised this year’s graduation season as a “major step in the right direction” after several fights broke out across multiple ceremonies without a single weapon reportedly being drawn.
District officials held a press conference celebrating what they described as a “return to traditional hand-to-hand conflict resolution” following a school year repeatedly interrupted by gun-related incidents, lockdowns, and a gun accidentally being discharged in a classroom.
“Look, nobody wants fights at graduation,” said a spokesperson while standing beside three sheriff’s deputies and a folded metal detector. “But considering how this school year has gone, seeing large groups settle disagreements using only fists and folding chairs at graduation is honestly very encouraging.”
Administrators also credited increased security measures, including clear bag policies, expanded police presence, and strategically separating rival families by several rows whenever possible.
Parents leaving ceremonies expressed cautious optimism as well.
“Five months ago I would’ve panicked hearing screaming and people running,” said one mother. “This time I just assumed somebody’s aunt got shoved.”
