NEW ORLEANS, La. – In a bold display of leadership, Mayor LaToya Cantrell was notably absent from a press conference addressing the city’s $20 million settlement with the Orleans Parish School Board. Why? She was reportedly attending an International Conference on Education Funding and Transparency—a gathering of world leaders committed to, well, showing up for things like school finance meetings.

Sources say the mayor’s keynote speech, “Funding Schools: A Theoretical Concept,” was delivered remotely from an undisclosed location (possibly a first-class airline lounge). Panelists were reportedly inspired by her masterclass on “Avoiding Awkward Press Conferences by Simply Not Attending Them.”

Meanwhile, back in New Orleans, officials struggled to explain the irony of a mayor dodging a meeting about misallocated school funds while allegedly discussing the importance of properly allocating school funds.

Residents remain hopeful that next year, she’ll attend the Summit on Prioritizing Local Issues Over International Junkets.