NEW ORLEANS, La. – In a groundbreaking achievement for bureaucratic excellence, the New Orleans Department of Safety and Permits has been honored with the prestigious “Golden Traffic Cone Award” for their unparalleled ability to delay construction permits indefinitely.
The award, presented by the National Institute of Governmental Inefficiency, recognizes the department’s commitment to ensuring no project moves forward without months—if not years—of unnecessary red tape, lost paperwork, and contradictory code interpretations.
“We take immense pride in our ability to turn a simple home renovation into a multi-year odyssey of despair,” said Chief Inspector Jay Dufour, who accepted the award on behalf of the department. “Our motto is clear: If you can build it, we can stop you.”
Developers across the city expressed a mix of frustration and admiration. “We applied for a permit in 2019 to replace a doorknob, and we’re hoping to break ground by 2030,” said local contractor Mike LeBlanc. “They’re truly the best at what they do.”
City officials celebrated the achievement with a ceremonial ribbon-cutting for a new permitting office—pending approval of the necessary permits, of course.
