Jeff Landry Announces New Earthquake Response Office, Staffed With 14 Friends From Campaign
After a rare earthquake shook northwest Louisiana, Governor Jeff Landry announced a brand new state agency to address future tremors, immediately staffing the office with 14 trusted allies from his recent campaign.
Louisiana Senator Proposes Fixing Child Services By Moving It 300 Feet Down the Hall
Lawmakers say relocating child services 300 feet down the hall will usher in a new era of accountability, thanks to updated signage and a different department name.
Central Announces Pay-Per-View Cage Fight Between Mayor and Police Chief Over Budget Dispute
Central residents won’t need another town hall meeting. City leaders have officially decided to settle their police budget dispute the old-fashioned way, inside a cage.
LSU to Post Ten Commandments In Classrooms, Seeks Football Season Exemption From Taking The Lord’s Name In Vain
As LSU prepares to post the Ten Commandments in classrooms under the new state mandate, officials quietly requested a football-season exemption from “Thou Shalt Not Take The Lord’s Name In Vain.”
Jeff Landry Demands LSU Men’s Basketball Coach Register as a Liability With the State
After another LSU loss, Governor Jeff Landry has unveiled a new defensive strategy, state registration. The head coach may soon require official paperwork before drawing up another play.
Rep. Sylvia Taylor Calls For Common Sense Mardi Gras Bead Throwing Reform After Years of Inaction
After years of legislative inaction, one lawmaker is calling for common sense Mardi Gras reform, including high-capacity bead throwing restrictions and parade throw loophole closures.
Legislature Promises to Protect Budget Stability by Creating 14 New Committees to Study It
Louisiana finally finds budget stability, immediately places it under investigation. Fourteen committees now studying whether calm financial conditions pose a threat to long-standing traditions.
Television Network Greenlights Daytime Drama Series After Following Louisiana Politics for Three Months
Louisiana politics officially has its own daytime drama. After one too many flip-flops in House and Senate races, a writer teamed up with The Sadvocate to turn the chaos into a full-fledged soap opera.
Metro Council to Offer BRPD Honorary Council Seats, Allowing Officers to Continue Working If Charged Criminally
In an effort to address the police shortage, Metro Council members are considering granting BRPD officers honorary council seats so indictments no longer automatically sideline them from duty.
Louisiana Introduces Felony Speeding, Finally Giving Nissan Altimas a Criminal Record
Louisiana lawmakers want to make extreme speeding a felony after years of watching Altimas treat I-10 like a personal obstacle course with no rules.
Bill Cassidy Achieves Bipartisanship by Getting Both Parties to Agree He Shouldn’t Run Again
Bipartisanship is back in style, just not the way anyone expected. Bill Cassidy has finally united the left and right around one simple request.
EBR School System Audit Reveals $300K Check Cashed by “Someone Who Seemed Legit at the Time”
The district stated it is reviewing internal controls and considering additional safeguards, including additional training, clearer policies, and a policy prohibiting the cashing of altered $300,000 checks.
Louisiana Introduces 48-Hour Courtesy Warrant Window for Elected Officials With Travel Plans
State officials described the delay as a scheduling accommodation, explaining that warrants are serious matters but should not disrupt travel, networking, or previously booked government-adjacent social obligations.
CATS Spokesman Confirms Indictment Count Has Officially Surpassed Ridership
CATS confirmed the number of former officials under indictment has officially surpassed daily ridership, a milestone officials described as inevitable given years of empty buses and active investigations.
Plaquemine City Council Candidate Discovers Out-of-State Family Votes Are Cheaper Than Yard Signs
A Plaquemine election is under investigation after officials say a candidate may have discovered it’s cheaper to fly in relatives than blanket the city with yard signs.
Julia Letlow Enters Louisiana Senate Race After Clearing Party’s Only Hurdle: Not Being Bill Cassidy
Louisiana Republicans finally found common ground, and it wasn’t policy. Julia Letlow entered the Senate race after meeting the party’s only requirement: not being Bill Cassidy.
Louisiana AG Liz Murrill Proposes ID Requirements for People Waiting in King Cake Lines
Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill proposed voter ID requirements for king cake lines, arguing the state must protect limited inventory from out-of-state buyers and residents who “just discovered Mardi Gras.”
Rock the Country Tour to Skip Louisiana Following Reports Jeff Landry Wants Live Texas Steer at Shows
Festival organizers confirmed Louisiana was removed from the tour after reports surfaced that state officials wanted a live Texas steer roaming concert crowds to “restore authenticity.”
Jeff Landry Orders Cajun Navy on Standby After Hearing British Troops Might Be Headed to Greenland
The governor’s office said no deployment orders exist yet, but volunteers were encouraged to prepare boats, cold-weather gear, and the confidence required to arrive before anyone asks for help.
Former Louisiana House Speaker Pleads Not Guilty to Artifact Theft, Cites State’s Longstanding Tradition Of Losing Things
A courtroom plea meets Louisiana tradition, as a former House Speaker’s defense points to the state’s long history of misplacing things and acting surprised when someone notices.
Jeff Landry Volunteers to Run Venezuela for Trump, Appoints Nungesser to Handle “That Greenland Thing” For Him
Governor Jeff Landry reportedly offered to run Venezuela, while casually assigning Billy Nungesser to handle Greenland.
State Rep. Paula Davis’ Farewell Party Gets “Accidentally” Scheduled at Louisiana Democratic Party Headquarters
Republican voters finally found common ground with one of her decisions, and the farewell party location may have said the quiet part out loud.
Group Studying Mississippi River Bridge Feasibility Now Tasked With Reviewing U.S.–Greenland Connection at Landry’s Direction
Louisiana officials confirmed the Mississippi River bridge study group has been instructed by Jeff Landry to expand its scope internationally, adding a preliminary review of a possible bridge connecting the U.S. to Greenland.
Jeff Landry Mandates Live Polar Bears Appear at All Future Greenland Football Games, Calls It “Tradition-Building”
Greenland tried football without traditions. Jeff Landry fixed that by mandating live polar bears on the sidelines, proving Louisiana solutions work everywhere, regardless of climate, common sense, or liability laws.
Landry Signs Executive Order to Build Tony Chachere’s Distribution Center in Greenland After Discovering Food There Has “No Real Seasoning”
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry signed an executive order exporting Tony Chachere’s to Greenland after determining the region’s cuisine lacked seasoning, heat, and any understanding of what “make it taste right” means.
As Newly Appointed Envoy to Greenland, Jeff Landry Immediately Demands to See Their Football Coaching Contract
Newly appointed Greenland envoy Jeff Landry reportedly stalled diplomatic talks after demanding football contracts and gumbo before determining whether Greenland was ready for serious engagement.
Louisiana Lawmakers Learn Most 13-Year-Olds Do Not Own Government-Issued Identification
A federal judge reminded Louisiana lawmakers that children are, legally and practically, children, ending a social media law that required 13-year-olds to present IDs they do not have.
After Surf Lake Backlash, Central Mayor Announces Even Bigger $400 Million Casino Resort Project
Critics laughed at Central’s surf lake plan. The mayor responded by casually announcing a $400 million casino instead. Problem solved.
After Baton Rouge and New Orleans Tour, ICE Agents Request Transfer to “Something Calmer,” Like Gaza
ICE agents say Gaza “seems peaceful” after spending several days in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, citing South Louisiana’s unique blend of traffic, politics, and Dodge Chargers driving recklessly.
NOLA Residents Rally Against ICE, Fear Safer Streets Could Lead to Higher Rent and Fewer Viral Carjacking Videos
Protestors in New Orleans came out in the rain this week, not to oppose crime, but to defend it from ICE. Locals say safer streets could ruin the city’s “authentic experience.”