NEW ORLEANS, LA – In a move that shocked absolutely no one familiar with New Orleans politics, recently convicted former 911 Director Tyrell Morris has already been nominated to chair the city’s Ethics Board. The appointment comes just days after Morris was found guilty of multiple charges, including lying to investigators, injuring public records, and impersonating a peace officer.
Supporters praised the nomination as “a natural fit,” noting that Morris has firsthand experience with virtually every type of ethical violation. “If you want someone who knows how the system works, and how to work around it, Morris is your guy,” said one councilmember while double-parking outside City Hall.
Critics argued the move undermines public trust, but those critics were quickly drowned out by the sound of brass bands celebrating “Accountability Fest 2025,” a new city-sponsored parade designed to honor officials caught red-handed. “It’s about transparency,” explained a spokesperson. “We’re transparent about the fact that nobody here has any ethics.”
If confirmed, Morris would replace the previous Ethics Board chair, who resigned after being indicted for misusing city funds to purchase “wellness retreats” at a Biloxi casino. Locals say the handoff ensures one thing: business as usual in New Orleans.
