Jeff Landry Wants Remote Workers Back in the Office—Because Nothing Boosts Productivity Like Baton Rouge Gridlock
Gov. Jeff Landry has declared war on remote work, forcing thousands of state employees back into Louisiana’s soul-crushing traffic. Because nothing says “efficiency” like a two-hour commute on cratered highways.
Governor Declares ‘No Corruption Month’ to Give Politicians a Break from Bribery Investigations
BATON ROUGE, La. – In a groundbreaking move to boost morale among Louisiana’s elected officials, Governor Jeff Landry has declared April as No Corruption Month, a period during which all bribery, embezzlement, and ethics investigations will be put on hold. “We recognize that our public servants work tirelessly,” Landry stated. “It’s only fair they get […]
Gov. Landry Makes Crawfish Tax Exempt, Doubles Taxes on Vegan Food—Offers Protesters a Crawfish Boil
Gov. Jeff Landry’s latest proposal eliminates taxes on crawfish while doubling them on vegan food, sparking outrage and a protest. To soothe tensions, he’s hosting a crawfish boil—right outside the protest.
Governor Mandates Live Beavers at Every Louisiana Buc-ee’s, Citing Lifelong Love for Them
Governor Jeff Landry has mandated a live beaver at every Buc-ee’s in Louisiana, citing his deep, lifelong passion for beavers—one that started in college and only grew stronger.
Governor Landry Accidentally Catches Beads at Spanish Town Parade, Declares It ‘An Attempted Bribery’
Governor Jeff Landry caught beads at the Spanish Town Parade—then declared it a bribery attempt by The Sadvocate. He’s now pushing to ban “unapproved bead distribution” at public events.
Landry to Require Buc-ee’s in Lafayette to Play Trump Speeches at Gas Pumps
Louisiana’s newest Buc-ee’s won’t just offer oversized snacks and clean restrooms—it’ll now serve up 24/7 Trump speeches, thanks to Gov. Jeff Landry. Customers filling up on gas will hear classics like “We’re winning so much, you’ll get tired of winning.”
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order Banning James Carville from Wearing LSU Gear on TV
Governor Jeff Landry has issued an executive order banning James Carville from wearing LSU gear on TV until he “stops acting insane.” Officials say Carville must prove he can do one interview without a meltdown before the ban is lifted.
Governor Landry Orders All State Buildings to Fly ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ Flags
Governor Jeff Landry has ordered all Louisiana government buildings to replace the state flag with the Gadsden flag, better known as the “Don’t Tread on Me” banner, calling it a “tribute to real American values.”
McKernan Splits Cost of Landry’s Jet, Gets Exclusive Rights to Aerial Advertising
Governor Jeff Landry’s new $5.5 million jet won’t just fly officials—it’ll advertise Gordon McKernan. The attorney agreed to cover half the cost in exchange for prime fuselage ad space. Critics call it absurd, but McKernan insists it’s public safety. “With all these plane crashes lately, I realized my billboards weren’t reaching people where they needed me most—the sky.” Meanwhile, rival E. Eric Guirard rejected a snack coordinator role, only to settle for changing batteries in airport marshalling wands.
DOGE LA to be Lead by Todd Graves; Vows to Reduce Spending and Restore Chicken Finger Size
Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry has tapped Raising Cane’s founder Todd Graves as the state’s first-ever Director of Government Efficiency (DOGE-LA).
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order on Public Service Commissioner’s Social Media Use
BATON ROUGE, La – In a groundbreaking effort to uphold the integrity of Louisiana politics, Governor Jeff Landry has issued Executive Order No. 2025-WTF-013, officially permitting Public Service Commissioner Davante Lewis to continue posting insults about the governor online—but with one strict condition. “Mr. Lewis is free to post whatever he likes about me,” Landry […]
Reinstated LSU Law Professor Launches ‘How to Get Paid by Taxpayers for Complaining About Politics 101’ Course
BATON ROUGE, La – After a brief suspension for using his classroom as a platform for political rants, LSU law professor Ken Levy is back and teaching a new course: “How to Get Paid by Taxpayers for Complaining About Politics 101.” “Why focus primarily on teaching law when you can throw in a couple of […]