BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU fans announced that they agreed to preserve Jayden Daniels’ legacy by never speaking of him again.
The decision came after Daniels objected to LSU allowing DJ Pickett to wear No. 5, prompting fans to honor the Heisman winner with the Louisiana ceremony of deleting his highlights and pretending Joe Burrow played quarterback for six seasons.
“We’ll always remember what ‘whats his name’ accomplished here,” said a fan while placing a Daniels jersey beneath a wobbly crawfish table. “But out of respect for his wishes, those memories are exclusively licensed to his family and legal team.”
LSU officials confirmed Daniels’ photograph will remain at Tiger Stadium, although it has been moved behind a tattered, framed ReliaQuest Bowl program.
Fans promised never to compare another player to Daniels, mention his statistics, or remind anyone that he once seemed universally beloved.
Daniels’ representatives later clarified that LSU fans may continue remembering him fondly, provided each memory is properly licensed and accompanied by the appropriate legacy fee.
