BATON ROUGE, LA – The 13th Gate Haunted House in Baton Rouge unveiled its most terrifying attraction this weekend: a quiet room where visitors sit down in a realistic looking kitchen and open their homeowners insurance renewal.
The room contains no actors, fake blood or special effects. Just an envelope, a calculator and a spouse asking whether the new premium is monthly or annual.
“We had a guy walk through the entire asylum without flinching,” said one employee. “He got here, saw his wind deductible and started freaking out asking us to call 911.”
Visitors must read the entire renewal before advancing, including the paragraph explaining that their higher premium now covers fewer things.
One patron reportedly begged to return to the room with the man holding a chainsaw so he could calm down.
Organizers said the attraction has already caused several visitors to abandon the haunted house and immediately list their homes.
“We do have a safe word,” an employee confirmed. “But saying ‘bundle’ just brings in another guy who raises your car insurance.”
