BATON ROUGE, LA – A Louisiana man packed an overnight bag after opening his sample ballot and realizing his plan to “look it over real quick” had become a residential program.
The man initially laid out a toothbrush and clean underwear, then added a crockpot after encountering a sentence he described as “three attorneys fighting inside a paragraph.”
“I know who I want for office,” he said. “I don’t know whether I support authorizing the thing they’re currently prohibited from not doing.”
His wife found him at the kitchen table surrounded by highlighters, a parish map and a legal pad labeled “WHAT DOES YES DO?”
A second pad, labeled “WHAT DOES NO DO?”, remained blank.
He called his cousin, who works for the state, hoping for clarification. The cousin recommended asking someone who works for the state.
By evening, the man had requested vacation time and moved the good pillow into the dining room.
He eventually hired a consultant to explain the ballot. The consultant recommended a six-month study and asked whether there was federal money available.
