BATON ROUGE, LA – Entergy Louisiana has reassured customers that its proposed $1.8 billion Cottonwood power plant purchase and upgrades will benefit everyone, particularly residents who have always dreamed of financing infrastructure without owning any.
Entergy says the Texas plant would address broader demand, disputing criticism linking the need to Meta. Its fictional public relations department clarified that the controversy offers ordinary Louisianans an exciting opportunity to participate in corporate expansion without receiving stock or dividends.
“Everybody benefits,” explained a fictional Entergy spokesperson. “Meta gets electricity, Entergy gets a power plant, and customers get the satisfaction of knowing they helped make it possible.”
Officials emphasized that any proposed bill increase should be viewed not as an expense, but as a monthly reminder that Louisiana is open for business.
Residents questioning the arrangement were reminded that Meta's shareholders have families to feed too.
The company reportedly hopes to celebrate any eventual acquisition by mailing every customer a thank-you note, printed directly on the portion of the bill marked amount due.
