BATON ROUGE, LA – The long-awaited Baton Rouge Metro Airport taxiway expansion has hit an unexpected snag: nutria. Officials announced this week that before a single yard of concrete can be poured, the Environmental Protection Agency must complete a $19 million study to determine the best way to relocate the swamp-dwelling rodents.
According to the EPA, the furry orange-toothed creatures have established “traditional migration patterns” across the proposed taxiway site, and federal guidelines require a full environmental review. “We simply can’t move forward until we know whether nutria prefer a four-lane crossing, an underground tunnel, or possibly a dedicated Uber service,” one project manager explained.
Airport leaders, meanwhile, are frustrated. “We finally get $20 million for infrastructure, and it’s eaten alive by rodents that outnumber us ten to one,” one official sighed.
Local residents remain divided. Some argue that preserving nutria culture is vital for Baton Rouge’s ecosystem, while others note they taste best slow-roasted.
Critics say the rodents shouldn’t delay progress, but the EPA insists the nutria studies are way ahead of schedule compared to other projects around Baton Rouge, such as I-10. At least the animals eventually reach their destination, something Baton Rouge road projects can’t always guarantee.
