BATON ROUGE, La. – In a shocking return to the Wild West, the U.S. Marshals have issued a “Wanted: Dead or Alive” alert for a Baton Rouge fugitive, causing immediate confusion among locals who thought that was just a Bon Jovi song.
“We haven’t seen this kind of language since the days when sheriffs rode horses and settled disputes with duels at high noon,” said one concerned resident. In response, local saloons have begun locking up their whiskey supply, fearing an influx of bounty hunters looking for an old-school showdown.
While the suspect remains on the run, sources say he’s been keeping the faith and avoiding anyone with a badge and a cowboy hat. Officials assure residents that bounty hunting remains mostly illegal.
