PARIS, Fr. – Mayor LaToya Cantrell has outdone herself, naming Danette Colbert, the infamous “Bourbon Street Hustler,” as New Orleans’ new Tourism Ambassador during a bougie, taxpayer-funded soirée at the Palace of Versailles.
“Danette knows these streets better than Google Maps,” Cantrell said while posing next to a gold-plated croissant. “Ain’t nobody promoting tourism better than someone who’s BEEN in these streets. We outside, baby!”
Colbert, fresh off the Telemundo Super Bowl debacle, accepted via a blurry FaceTime call. “Tourism is all about unforgettable experiences, and trust me—folks don’t forget me,” she said, before the call cut out.
When critics slammed the $500,000 Parisian event, Cantrell clapped back: “Fix potholes? Baby, we BUILDING BRIDGES—internationally! Y’all just mad ‘cause you ain’t invited.”
At press time, the mayor was reportedly booking a “business retreat” in Ibiza, explaining, “New Orleans and Ibiza both got culture, nightlife, and haters. It just makes sense.”
