NEW ORLEANS, LA – A newly released scientific study warning that large portions of Louisiana’s coastline continue to sink into the Gulf of Mexico was quickly dismissed this week by New Orleans Mayor Helena Moreno, who reportedly believed researchers were referring to the city’s finances.
According to sources, the mayor initially skimmed the report and immediately assumed it was another audit.
“I don’t understand why they’re acting like this is new information,” Moreno reportedly said. “New Orleans has been financially underwater for years.”
Staff members spent nearly two hours attempting to explain that the report concerned coastal land loss, rising sea levels, and disappearing wetlands, not municipal budgets, deficits, or accounting practices.
Witnesses say the confusion continued after Moreno reportedly asked whether federal disaster funding could be used to “raise the city’s credit score above sea level.”
Scientists involved with the study later clarified that terms such as “sinking land,” “flood risk,” and “submerged communities” were intended literally.
The misunderstanding reportedly ended when an aide showed the mayor a map illustrating vanishing coastline.
“Oh,” Moreno responded. “You mean the actual ground.”
The mayor then criticized the study anyway, arguing that focusing on land being underwater distracts from the city’s longstanding tradition of budgets being there first.
