BATON ROUGE, LA – Following Baylor’s decision to fire head football coach Dave Aranda, LSU fans have reportedly contacted the university’s shipping department to arrange the immediate return of their former defensive coordinator.
Aranda, who helped lead LSU to the 2019 national championship, is considered by many Tiger fans to be a valuable piece of equipment that was mistakenly shipped to Waco in 2020.
“We’d prefer the original packaging, but we’ll accept him bubble-wrapped in the back of a U-Haul,” said one fan who claims to have already printed a prepaid return label.
Supporters have also requested that Baylor include any remaining defensive playbooks, third-down stops, and memories of linebackers actually knowing where to line up.
According to the unofficial return instructions circulating online, Aranda should be delivered directly to LSU’s football operations building, where fans have reportedly cleared a desk and plugged in a coffee maker.
Baylor has not confirmed whether Aranda remains eligible for return after six years, but LSU fans insist the manufacturer’s warranty should still apply.
