PARIS, FRANCE – French officials urged demonstrators to conserve their outrage ahead of Sunday’s Saints game, warning that citizens were expressing levels of frustration normally reserved for watching New Orleans attempt to convert third and short.
“We understand you have grievances,” a government spokesman said. “But some of you haven’t even seen the offense yet.”
Authorities announced plans to distribute paper bags outside the stadium, initially describing them as emergency supplies before acknowledging that Saints fans had requested them months ago.
Officials also asked protesters to stop demanding that everyone be fired until they could specify whether they meant the French government or Mickey Loomis.
Meanwhile, visiting Louisiana residents reported feeling unexpectedly comfortable amid widespread complaints about leadership, public spending and the general direction of things.
“I don’t speak French, but that man has been pointing at a building and yelling for twenty minutes,” one fan said. “I think we agree.”
Officials clarified that “a complete collapse of leadership” would remain a political statement until kickoff.
