ST. GEORGE, LA – Opponents of St. George reluctantly postponed the city’s impending financial collapse Tuesday after it received a national award for its annual budget presentation.
The recognition forced critics to update several Facebook comments, a neighborhood group announcement, and one spreadsheet containing no actual city financial information.
“We still believe this city cannot sustain itself,” said one longtime opponent whose eleven anti-St. George Facebook pages failed to convince more than nine residents to join the opposition. “Unfortunately, the people reviewing its budget keep reviewing its budget instead of just listening to us.”
Critics emphasized that the award merely recognizes how clearly the city presents its finances, leaving open the possibility that those finances could become terrible at a more convenient date sometime in the future.
An updated forecast now places the failure of the city approximately six months after whatever positive announcement comes next.
Opponents also requested that future awards include advance notice so residents can prepare explanations for why they really don’t count.
“We’re not rooting against the city,” one critic clarified. “We just need it to fail enough that everyone understands we were right to have been rooting against it for the past 13 years.”
