CENTRAL, LA – Following Pastor Tony Spell’s now well-established reputation for handling confrontations personally, the East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office announced Thursday that it will streamline operations by replacing the entire Central Substation staff with a single folding chair, a coffee maker, and Pastor Tony Spell.
Sheriff’s officials described the move as “a significant budget savings” while noting Spell has recently demonstrated an ability to resolve confrontations much faster than traditional law enforcement methods.
“Instead of dispatching six deputies to a disturbance, we’ll initially text a photo of Spell to everyone involved,” said Public Information Officer Casey Rayborn-Hicks. “If that doesn’t work our next step is to… well… you’ve probably seen the video.”
Officials also confirmed Spell’s patrol vehicle would not carry batons or pepper spray, instead replacing standard equipment with a Bible and a case of ice packs “just in case things go sideways.”
East Baton Rouge EMS will also be required to respond to every incident Spell is dispatched to “as a proactive measure,” according to an EMS spokesperson.
Local residents expressed cautious optimism, noting response times would likely improve, although several admitted they weren’t entirely sure whether calling 911 would result in handcuffs or hands being laid on them.
The move reportedly prompted several neighboring agencies to inquire whether Pastor Spell would be available for mutual aid, with Baton Rouge Police Chief TJ Morse asking if he would be able to respond to street and intersection takeovers around town.
