BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU officials have prepared a cultural briefing for Melania Trump explaining that STTDB is an old French expression whose meaning was tragically lost when Bon Marche’ Mall closed.
“It’s like Geaux Tigers,” one administrator said. “You can’t run it through Google Translate. We actually need her to put her phone away.”
The university plans to surround the First Lady with donors who will confidently explain that students are requesting a blessing for Mike the Tiger.
If she asks why they’re grabbing themselves, officials will say it’s where Louisianans traditionally keep their rosaries.
The explanation has already received unanimous approval from the same people who approve coaching contracts.
“We convinced this town that paying a man millions to stop working was good for the university,” the administrator said. “We can get through one song.”
Officials have also arranged an emergency departure down Nicholson Drive, giving them approximately forty minutes to come up with a second explanation before leaving campus.
