BATON ROUGE, LA – BREC officials clarified Monday that a proposed indoor aquatic center at Brooks Park would eliminate seasonal interruptions in residents telling lifeguards the water feels wrong.
The proposed $28 million facility, for which BREC is seeking $22.4 million in state funding, would allow swimmers to demand warmer water in January and ask why it feels like bathwater by March.
“Currently, some residents go several months without approaching a teenager to discuss thermostat settings,” a fictional spokesperson explained. “We consider that a gap in services.”
Plans include dedicated deck space for people who enter one foot at a time while announcing that their sister’s pool is much more comfortable.
Officials said maintaining a consistent temperature would allow the same water to be described as freezing and disgusting within minutes.
One resident welcomed the investment, saying she had long wanted somewhere to complain about swimming conditions when it was too cold to complain about the air conditioning.
She confirmed she would not actually be getting in.
