BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU fraternity officials announced Friday that they will be revising internal kitchen procedures after a recently hired kitchen employee allegedly misunderstood repeated requests to “keep the house stocked with Coke.”
According to fraternity members, they initially believed the employee had simply become the most dedicated kitchen worker in chapter history after students began raving about his late-night service. Brothers praised him for finally offering something besides chicken alfredo, frozen pizza, and the same overcooked chicken tenders that had reportedly been served every Tuesday since 2018.
“It wasn’t until police showed up that we realized he had interpreted ‘keep the house stocked with coke’ a little differently than everyone else,” one member said. “Looking back, it probably should’ve raised questions when nobody ever asked for Dr Pepper.”
The fraternity has since updated its employee handbook to clarify that the title “line cook” refers to an employee who cooks food on a kitchen line, not someone responsible for preparing lines of cocaine. Additional revisions specify that Coke means a soft drink, pot refers to cookware, and any white powder found in the kitchen should be capable of becoming gravy or some form of a baked good.
In response to the incident, LSU fraternities are reportedly considering renaming the position from “Line Cook” to “Food Guy” in hopes of eliminating any future confusion.
