IRVINE, CA – Reports of Cyclospora illnesses associated with some Taco Bell locations have left customers facing what many described as an impossible decision: call a doctor immediately or first leave a glowing online review because the meal itself was “absolutely worth it.”
“I was halfway through describing my symptoms to the urgent care nurse when my phone asked me to rate my visit,” said one customer. “The Crunchwrap was phenomenal, so I gave them five stars before getting back to explaining why I’d been in the bathroom since Tuesday.”
Doctors across the country reported an unusual spike in patients beginning appointments with the phrase, “Now, before you judge me…”
Meanwhile, Taco Bell employees said they became suspicious after customers started asking whether their symptoms qualified as “normal Taco Bell” or “the kind that’s making the news.”
Health officials encouraged anyone experiencing prolonged symptoms to seek medical attention, while longtime Taco Bell customers insisted they’d first wait to see whether a Baja Blast and a nap solved the problem.
