WATSON, La. – A bear sighting in Watson turned personal Tuesday when local woman Ashley Fontenot claimed the animal was actually her ex-husband, Jason, “in disguise” trying to see their kids.
“I knew it was him by the way he walked—slow, slouched, like he just left Bass Pro with unpaid gear,” said Fontenot. She says the bear “stared longingly” at the trampoline and sniffed the air “like it missed the smell of chicken nuggets and child support.”
LPSO arrived quickly but couldn’t confirm whether the bear was, in fact, Jason in costume. “It’s Louisiana—we’ve seen weirder,” said one deputy.
Wildlife officials maintain it was a bear, but Fontenot insists, “That’s exactly what he wants you to think.”
The bear has not been seen since and is presumed to be hiding in the woods—classic Jason behavior, according to Ashley.
