BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU announced Monday that all future applicants for football equipment manager must possess a law degree, carry malpractice insurance, and demonstrate extensive experience resolving emotionally charged jersey disputes.
The updated qualifications follow controversy surrounding the reassignment of former quarterback Jayden Daniels’ No. 5, which school officials mistakenly believed was merely a number printed on fabric.
“We need someone who can distribute uniforms without accidentally triggering litigation,” an LSU spokesperson said. “Folding towels is still important, but contract law is now the priority.”
Applicants must pass a background check, the Louisiana bar exam, and a practical test requiring them to issue No. 7 without offending an All-American, current recruit, former player, booster, or anyone operating a verified social media account.
The successful candidate will also review helmets for unauthorized likenesses and obtain notarized consent before replacing missing socks.
Players requesting a new number must now submit two forms, three references and a $75 nonrefundable filing fee.
