Nick Saban Asks Congress To Require Media Mention Him Every Third Time They Mention Lane Kiffin
WASHINGTON, DC – Former Alabama coach Nick Saban appeared before Congress recently to discuss the future of college athletics, but much of the hearing reportedly focused on what he described as an increasingly alarming lack of media balance whenever LSU coach Lane Kiffin is discussed. According to sources, Saban proposed a new federal guideline requiring […]
Lane Kiffin Makes New LSU Prospects Drive From Port Allen To Baton Rouge At 5 PM To Test Resilience
LSU recruiters say the drive from Port Allen to Baton Rouge tells them more about a prospect than any highlight reel.
Baton Rouge Marriage Counselors Prepare For LSU Football Season By Hiring Additional Staff
Baton Rouge marriage counselors say football season is their busiest time of year, and LSU hasn’t even played a game yet.
LSU Introduces Dynamic Ticket Pricing That Increases After Every Touchdown
LSU says it learned valuable lessons from last year’s ticket price controversy. This year, prices won’t go up until the Tigers actually start scoring touchdowns.
Coach O Accidentally Signs Two Offensive Linemen While Ordering Boudin At Local Gas Station
Sources say Coach O’s recruiting success rate at Louisiana gas stations now exceeds several major recruiting websites combined.
Senate Introduces “Lane Kiffin Rule” Requiring Coaches To Wait Until Fans Finish Crying Before Resigning
Lawmakers unveiled the proposed “Lane Kiffin Rule” this week, giving devastated college football fans a federally protected mourning period before coaches can bolt for another job.
Therapists Warn Lane Kiffin Visit Could Reset Ole Miss Recovery Process Back to Anger Phase
Counselors across Oxford are preparing for a difficult week as Lane Kiffin’s return reportedly threatens months of emotional recovery progress.
Lane Kiffin Forced to Skip ESPN College GameDay in Atlanta After Getting Stuck in I-10 Traffic
Lane Kiffin’s first major setback at LSU came from the existential nightmare of I-10 traffic, which trapped him so completely he missed his scheduled GameDay appearance in Atlanta.
Lane Kiffin Says He Chose LSU For Tradition, Passion, And “The Unmatched Quality Of Baton Rouge Gas Station Food”
Lane Kiffin’s first LSU press appearance took an unexpected turn when he praised Baton Rouge’s gas-station cuisine as a deciding factor in his move. Fans shrugged, noting that understanding hot-bar culture is practically a requirement for the job.
Todd Graves and Gordon McKernan Race to File for Sole Custody of Lane Kiffin in Baton Rouge City Court
Lane Kiffin hasn’t even landed in Louisiana, but that didn’t stop two of Baton Rouge’s biggest personalities from sprinting to City Court to claim exclusive custody rights before the ink on his contract even dries.
Lane Kiffin Considers Committing to LSU Before Thanksgiving To Avoid Having to Tell Anyone He Coached In The Egg Bowl
Lane Kiffin is rumored to be eyeing LSU, and insiders say it has less to do with football and more to do with avoiding the public shame of coaching in something called the Egg Bowl.