BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU coach Lane Kiffin named a local father of three starting tailgater for Saturday’s Alabama game after watching him unload a canopy, two folding tables and a propane burner without once putting down his beer.
“You can teach somebody where the cooler goes,” Kiffin said. “You can’t teach that.”
The man reportedly separated two stuck lawn chairs using his knee, chin and a brief expression of disappointment. Scouts initially questioned his mobility before learning he had already backed the truck directly against the spot where he intended to sit.
The performance moved him ahead of his brother-in-law, who remains questionable after forgetting to put ice in the cooler.
Kiffin declined to discuss the rest of the depth chart but confirmed nobody who brings a rolling cooler will see meaningful action on grass.
The man accepted the role without comment, then handed the coach an unopened bag of charcoal and pointed toward the grill.
