BATON ROUGE, LA – Local resident Danny Boudreaux declared victory over nearly three decades of household decluttering after the return of the Baton Rouge Kingfish made his faded hockey shirt relevant again.
“Told you,” Boudreaux said, pulling the shirt from a drawer his wife, Karen, has repeatedly described as “where cotton goes to die.”
The shirt survived six donation drives, two moves, and at least three garage sales.
Boudreaux maintained throughout that it was team merchandise, not clutter, and that getting rid of it would be disloyal.
“I’m happy hockey’s back,” Karen said. “I just didn’t realize the entire franchise was being revived to settle a 30 year old argument.”
Boudreaux has purchased tickets and says the comeback also strengthens his case for keeping nine extension cords and a remote to a television they no longer own.
He insists the shirt still fits.
Karen confirmed it does, provided he watches the entire game without lowering his arms.
