OXFORD, MS – LSU fans traveling to Oxford this weekend were surprised to discover a new $300 “Lane Kiffin Emotional Recovery Fee” added to their hotel reservations.
According to local hotel operators, the surcharge will help Oxford residents process the emotional strain of seeing their former head coach return wearing LSU colors.
“This weekend will reopen a lot of wounds,” said one hotel manager. “Counseling isn’t cheap, and neither is replacing everything our guests throw at the television.”
The fee reportedly covers therapy sessions, additional security, complimentary tissues and the removal of all LSU references from hotel televisions.
Several fans complained that the charge raised their two-night stay to nearly $1,900. Hotel officials responded by reminding them that breakfast was included.
Ole Miss residents insist they have completely moved on from Kiffin, despite spending the past nine months discussing his departure continuously.
LSU fans may have the fee waived by signing a statement acknowledging that Kiffin was never actually that good and Ole Miss is better off without him.
