OXFORD, MS – In the proud tradition of claiming things they didn’t actually win, Ole Miss has officially announced themselves as the 2007 BCS National Champions, a title they apparently earned by watching LSU beat Ohio State on television. A new banner was revealed inside Vaught-Hemingway Stadium reading: “2007 BCS Champs in our Minds.”
This isn’t Ole Miss’ first creative championship claim. Fans still remember 2003, when LSU beat the Rebels head-to-head to clinch the SEC West. Despite the loss, Ole Miss put up a sign in the stadium declaring themselves “2003 SEC West Champions” anyway, a feat of revisionist history that historians now classify as “massive delusion.”
The school insists their 2007 “title” is valid because the team watched “with intensity,” and several students successfully guessed the final score before kickoff. Plans are underway for a victory parade featuring former players reclining on couches, symbolizing the program’s unmatched ability to dominate games viewed from home.
Even LSU fans admit that it’s hard to beat Ole Miss at make-believe.
