BATON ROUGE, LA – Baton Rouge has extended an unusual olive branch to the Florida Gators quarterback who tossed five interceptions against LSU last night, inviting him back for a role he might finally succeed in: throwing footballs from a Mardi Gras float. Spanish Town Parade organizers announced the QB will headline their annual celebration, trading game-day misery for festive chaos.
“Look, the kid clearly loves throwing to LSU people more than his own teammates,” said one parade captain. “Why not let him do it in pink wigs and glitter?”
Instead of beads, the quarterback will hurl miniature footballs into the crowd, where locals say his trademark inaccuracy won’t matter. “If he misses, it just hits the ground and nobody there will be keeping stats,” laughed an LSU fan.
While some residents expressed mild concern for windows, parade organizers reassured the public: “It’s the Spanish Town Parade. Dodging flying objects is part of the tradition.”
LSU players, meanwhile, are thrilled. “We caught his passes last night. We’ll catch them again in February.”
