NEW ORLEANS, LA – During the first major forum for Orleans Parish sheriff candidates, an unexpected favorite emerged: the moderator.
Tasked with simply guiding the discussion, local civic volunteer Stephanie “Steph” LaFontaine shocked the crowd by demonstrating complete sentences, coherent thoughts, and a visible understanding of the criminal justice system. “She asked questions… and then stayed on topic,” one attendee whispered in awe. “Is this what leadership looks like?”
Meanwhile, the actual candidates struggled to distinguish themselves, each vowing to “increase transparency” without specifying whether that applied to the jail or their campaign finance reports. One hopeful promised to “reimagine incarceration,” but then admitted he had no idea what that meant and was told by Chat GPT that he should use that phrase.
By the forum’s end, audience members began directing follow-up questions to LaFontaine instead of the candidates. “It just felt safer,” said one voter. “She had eye contact and didn’t blame the previous sheriff for hurricanes and jail breaks.”
Though not on the ballot, LaFontaine is now polling ahead of several official contenders, many of whom are scrambling to add her to their ticket, possibly as sheriff, possibly as the entire department.
